I don't know what made me wanna post this.. But I really just want I to gt it out I guess..

Anyway so my life was kinda confusing I guess.. Well when I was 13 I got in a really bad accidient and got amnesia.. So that was a huge experience for me..I still knew stuff.. Like what a car was,computer, how to read.. Ect. But I had absolute no clue who anyone was. Who I was.. Ect
anyway so I lived abot 2months with no remembers coming back. And I always so bad wanted to remember stuff.. I kept readig stuff i write as a kid.. And looking at old family pictures put nothing reallytriggered me into remembering.. But one day.. It was just me and my dad at home.. And I was up in my room. And that's when it happened my dad came in my rook acting strange. And attacked me.. And raped me. And after that.. Almost everynight he would abuse me after my mom went to bed.. I could have told but I was terrified to. And he would threaten me.. And tell me all these things he would do.. And how disgusting I was, and he would say such hurtful things to me.. I hated myself so much.. And isolated myself from friends.. And everyone who calmed to be my family.
I never actually did gt my full memory back.. I still have holes and unrolled parts.. But the memories that came back were the worst I could ask for.. I wish I never did remember.
Now I'm in college.. Have some troubles in school.. But lots of people do I guess.. And I try to stay out of connect with my dad.. Bt it's been kind of difficult.. He lives so close.. And really wanna stay in connect with my mom.. She helps alot when I'm sad.. She doesn't know what happened to me.. Only my sister and my therapist do.. But someimes I wonder if she had known..
Thanks.. This is really bring emotion to me writing this.. Huh