Well, I can tell you a classic one is someone saying, "It didn't affect me." Well let's look at a court docket, ah domestic violence, dui's, drug busts and the longest you've held a job is 2-3 years. Yep, your doing just fine.
It does not matter necessarily the age. I could be said, and I have definitely witnessed a younger boy abuse older kids. Basically, he was well versed in sex and knew what he wanted. Now that kid had obviously been abuse, but the older kid he got into bed had no clue.
There are a variety of factors in whether it was abuse. That you were led into it by a "ringleader" is definitely a sign. It is also true that children who witness the abuse of a parent and/or sibling can be very traumatized by what they see.
You should also realize that quite often our mind shields us by suppressing bad memories. My own story held quite a bit of this. My own situation is benefiting greatly from trauma therapy. It is often hard to find the right therapist for you, but I might suggest professional counseling to unwind the knots from your past.
With your girlfriend, be honest as you can without being hurtful. Oftentimes, it may be helpful for her to know what you went through. A blow by blow de>
God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.