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#341887 - 10/11/10 02:11 PM The Art of Apology
FormerTexan Offline

Site Administrator

Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11924
Loc: Denver, CO
Today I saw a good apology in chat from one user to another. He owned the situation, took responsibility and humbled himself. The recipient of the apology received it well.

The apologies that seems to come from most of the populace these days involve lack of owninership of being the cause of the situational breakdown. I recall a situation where a manager at work pushed some of my buttons the wrong way. I complained to her boss that her behavior was not necessary. The next day I received an apology something like "I'm sorry you feel that way." She did not own the cause at all. She placed the burden back on me.

Why do some people feel they can "faux" their way through an apology? Is it too much pride? Unwilling to admit they were wrong? Apology is a necessary element in relationship. It shows humility to the wronged party when wrong happens on the part of one to the other.

At the same time, one would hope the other party accepts the apology, and relationship can continue to grow.

Just my thoughts based on what I saw in chat. How about your thoughts?



Money talks, but all it tells me is goodbye.

If I could meet myself as a boy...

#341900 - 10/11/10 05:47 PM Re: The Art of Apology [Re: FormerTexan]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma

This is a wonderful topic and you have some great thoughts. I our culture in general is a defensive one. Rarely do people begin by saying "I" but rather "You" when stating a concern. Before a person even has a chance to state their case the other person is often already in defensive mode.

It seems that many do not wish to give an inch and all things seem to be a power struggle. I do not see an apology as a weakness but rather as a sign of a strong individual. Secure people apologize and those who are not avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

Nice what you described in chat and it is a necessary part of any relationship.


Broad statements often miss their true mark.


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