At the Center of the Hourglass
by John Acevedo Romero on Thursday, September 30, 2010 at 4:15am
Staring at the Hour glass he finds himself frozen in time as he watches each grain of sand fall in slow motion
Each grain that falls is a Memory of Pain in his life
He feels every beat of his heart
Like the sound of someone banging on a door.
Overwhelmed by a Multitudinous Highway of thoughts...He snorts a line
He says to himself "Am I losing my mind?"
Does he have enough time?
Enough time to learn to let go
Let go of the things he cannot change.
Each year that passes he becomes more estranged
from who he was
Who he is
Who he wants to be
Who everyone wants him to be
Overwhelmed by a Multitudinous Highway of thoughts...He posts Ads online
He has become Adept in his self Abasing Coping Mechanisms
Every man He offers his Body to
Are just Bullets in the barrel
Of the Gun he is Holding against his skull.
Outwardly hoping to Die
Inwardly Fighting with a Loud cry.
The man inside begs to Live
While the Impostor outside Shouts
"This is who you are" they tell him
"You were born like this"
As he tries to reveal his True identity...He is silenced
His Identity as a Man
stolen as a young boy
Brainwashed when he was prepubescent
Developed as a teenager.
He learns to be victimized
He is Raped
He is Sodomized
He is Drawn to the life
a street walker.
for his body
with his Body
He walks with his Head down
With every tear hitting the ground
Hoping it leaves a Trail
For someone to Find him and rescue him.
Overwhelmed by a Multitudinous Highway of thoughts...He smokes from the vine
He is aging
He is becoming weaker
He is losing Hope
Using all the strength he has left
Not to lose the Mustard Seed of Faith
that he still has left.
A Double Minded man he remains
Wavering backwards and Forward
And Backwards again.
His Soul sings unto the Lord
"Pass me not Oh Gentle Savior
hear my Humble.. my humble cry"
Surrounded by Fallen Angels
Being thrown from one to the next
as they mock and laugh at him
Taking joy in his torture...
Overwhelmed by a Multitudinous Highway of thoughts...He Double fists Cocktails
Consume his Mind.
As he staggers through the woods In the middle of the night
Coked up out of his mind
He says aloud in the Darkness
"Lord Forgive me, Help me, I don't know what i'm doing?"
He finds his way home
jeans covered in Mudd
Heart racing From the Uncut.
In his dellusional state
A fallen angel whispers in his ear
"Smoke from this Glass Pipe or the Pain will drive you insane."
He Circles the Drain
holding on to the edges
as the waste washes down around him.
Overwhelmed by a Multitudinous Highway of thoughts...He Falls to his Knees
No more ideas to Numb the Pain
He is still
Silently waiting for a Voice of Reason.
He hears a Diminutive whisper
"I love You!"
Unable to Love himself he is confused.
Fighting with guilt and shame he lifts up his hands
"I Love you!"
Inundated with emotion as Yeshua tries to chisel away the black sheet of ice over his heart
He drops to the ground
Tears consummating a puddle on the ground around his face.
Overwhelmed by a Multitudinous Highway of thoughts...He opens his heart and lets Love in
At the lowest in his Valley
of his own shadow
He is broken down
Layer by layer.
Years have gone by
he has build up a Shield of Protection
built to Destroy him.
He is a Man
He is a Son
He is a Brother
He is an Uncle
He is a Grandson
He is a Nephew
He is a Friend
Overwhelmed by a Multitudinous Highway of thoughts...He is being Redeemed.