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#3405 - 08/06/03 01:53 AM Re: wilderness
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1984
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Welcome Barrington, I'm glad you found this site and very sorry that you had cause to find it.

To your question- run and hide in our own little piece of solitude? Too many times to count.

I jump head first into anything that presents itself.

Between perp #1 and perp #2, I spent every waking minute fishing in the local river. Every day, rain or shine.

I have sunk myself into so many different things and none of them could completely hide the pain, but I never stopped jumping.

My newest jump is therapy. To tame this once and for all. I know I'll have scars when this is done, but they won't be festering open wounds anymore.

Take care my brother,

Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

#3406 - 08/11/03 04:00 AM Re: wilderness
barrington Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/05/03
Posts: 4
Loc: australia
Oh, thank you all so much. I'm overwhelmed. So, you guys know me, huh? You know about escape, jumping into activities, submerging oneself in solitude or frantic activity (including really driven sex) to escape and obliterate the feelings. I'm stunned. I guess that everyone says this - but I thought I was all alone in this.

However, because of your warm welcome, I immediately felt less alone. I never thought that I would use the internet to become part of one of those 'virtual communities' but it has happened now. Thank heavens that men like us can talk this way.

Since being in therapy so much has come into focus about the pattern and structure of my life and the way it was shaped by sexual abuse: lack of trust in intimacy, fear and a great desire to be 'good' for others.

thanks again and as soon as I can figure out how to respond individually I'll do so


#3407 - 08/11/03 12:36 PM Re: wilderness
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Barrington thanks are not required. You placed your trust in us and that is a huge thing for us. We help each other brother. That is what it is all about. Every time you post or reply to a post and relate it to your life situation we all learn.

You have joined the best group of people it has been this survivors priviledge to know and that group now includes you.



#3408 - 08/11/03 01:45 PM Re: wilderness
outis Offline

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2261
Loc: Maryland USA

I think your posted recognition of how much we have in common, including the sense of isolation, is a lot of thanks. Now that you're here increasing the number of voices speaking out, more men will be able to see that they are not alone, either.

It amazes me to see that I have so much in common with people all around the world, because I worked through the same misperceptions trying to get my life "back on course." Like Mikey says, we come from all walks of life, different sexual orientation, different religions, different occupations, educations, hobbies, lifestyles, and so on. But we all have the same kinds of problems with the hot wires in our heads.

Sometimes it's nice to know that someone who won't hurt me is willing to point out the hot wire in my head. A lot of times I can't see it, but the guys here can.



"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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