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#340637 - 09/22/10 01:32 PM I finished my counselling - YEAH!
JustSurviving Offline


Registered: 04/22/10
Posts: 47
Loc: Hell
I've been gone from the forum for a while. Most of my posting was in the now non-existent "open forum" ('cause I wanted open dialogue and advice from anyone and everyone) and I can't even access those threads anymore.

In one of them, I asked if counseling has done any good for anyone. It never had for me. Taking courage from some of the responses in the thread and some of the private messages I got, I decided to give counseling another try. I asked around and researched who may be experienced in my area and was given the name of one counselor. I went to one session and don't need to return. YEAH! After answering questions as honestly as possible and allowing myself to open a bit more than usual, I surprisingly learned a lot, not only about myself, but about CSA survivors in general.

So, what did I learn?

I learned that "men, like you (me), who whine about sexual, or any other form of abuse, that occurred to them as children are a bunch of pussies. Good Lord, don't you know there are worse things happening all over the world right now. Get a grip, get over it, stop whining like a pussy and move on with your life. What's done is done."

He may have been having a horrible day, or week, or year, or may have just had a wreck or his wife left him, or something, but the licensing board has been notified. Just thought I'd share with you why I'll never see another counselor again. They are a bunch of @$$h@t$, present counselors excepted of course... or maybe not - I don't know...


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#340644 - 09/22/10 03:31 PM Re: I finished my counselling - YEAH! [Re: JustSurviving]
EvanCan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/09/10
Posts: 170
I hate that you had such a terrible experience.
That is remarkably awful.
You are So Not a Pussy.
So Not.

_________________________
Hope Springs 2010 WoR Alumnus
"I'm here, and I'm on the mend."


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#340653 - 09/22/10 06:34 PM Re: I finished my counselling - YEAH! [Re: EvanCan]
kidneythis Offline


Registered: 11/08/09
Posts: 1558
What a lowlife. I hope the licensing board actually does something to him for this. Order his report of your office visit from him. Request a copy by fax or letter.
I suggest this before he destroys all record of you and deny's the whole thing, or has time to rewrite/edit what he did put in there.
I'm really sorry you took a chance, going against your own impulse to avoid and got burned again. Some people are just scum. I'm happy you tried to trust someone else's advice and tried it out. That is a very important thing to relearn. Don't give up.



Edited by kidneythis (09/22/10 06:36 PM)
_________________________
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

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#340656 - 09/22/10 07:56 PM Re: I finished my counselling - YEAH! [Re: kidneythis]
Silly Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/21/10
Posts: 140
Loc: Virginia
That's just...beyond...I can't think of a proper response. It's messed up. I'm so sorry you had to endure that. I'll be thinking of you...

Shane

_________________________
http://esdgc.com/links/shaneCSA.html

http://seriouslysilly67.blogspot.com/

The Round Table, Men's Sexual Abuse Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#340657 - 09/22/10 08:04 PM Re: I finished my counselling - YEAH! [Re: kidneythis]
blaidd Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/00
Posts: 240
Loc: Australia
Wow that is quite appalling. I had a similar experience years ago. The professional I saw suggested I made it all up and even tried to convince me that I wasn't really gay. The guys on here were great and affirmed my experience and suggested I stop seeing the guy, and find someone else, which I did.

Since that time I have found a wonderful professional who is a specialist in the area of CSA/SA and my faith in reaching out for support was restored.

Unlike you I didn't have the courage to report him, so I applaud you for doing so. I'm so sorry you went through that and encourage you not to give up, because there are professional people out there who are trained and experience in CSA.

Try not to let this jerk deter you from obtaining the support you so rightly deserve. You have every right to be respected and heard. I wish you well on your journey.

_________________________
Blaidd (pronounced as blaith/blithe) is a welsh word meaning wolf.

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#340785 - 09/25/10 12:29 PM Re: I finished my counselling - YEAH! [Re: blaidd]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1627
Loc: Minnesota
Ouch-what a freak of a "therapist"-r u sure isn't wasn't that tv commercial about a drill sergeant turned therapist?

Sorry you opened yourself up to such a jerk- We all need help to process the effects of abuse-we can't do this alone. Keep using ms for support and trying to find a competent and qualified T who understands csa. Keep trying and remember this is a safe place.

_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#340820 - 09/25/10 11:41 PM Re: I finished my counselling - YEAH! [Re: Mountainous Buck]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
That's too bad you had a negative experience. Now that you bring this up, I guess I "shopped" for counselors. I also had some bad experiences.

My very first session was with a guy who had a national reputation. He had written a book about kids. (Later some fellow survivors told me the book was ghost-written). I had heard the guy on national talk radio.

But what a bummer! eek He listened vaguely to my story and yawned about half way through. Fortunately I never saw that guy again.

A couple years later I visited a guy who had a lavishly decorated waiting room and office. He had also been a guest on some radio talk shows. He was expensive and he contradicted some stuff I knew to be true. I never went back.

Allen

pufferfish eek


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#340821 - 09/26/10 12:06 AM Re: I finished my counselling - YEAH! [Re: pufferfish]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
So sorry you had such a terrible experience with that counselor. His conduct was beyond reprehensible, and I'm glad you have reported it to the licensing board. People like that certainly don't need to be treating the wounded.

I had a couple of different therapists who were less than stellar. One sort of nodded off during our session - he kind of snapped back to it and said "Sorry, what were you saying?" Maybe he had a bad night's sleep or something, I dunno.

The other moron that I saw said on the 4th session that he thought maybe I was just "melancholy" by nature and "overblowing" the abuse and crap that I went through. Never saw him again after that. Some therapists are real idiots.

But there are some excellent ones out there. Another one I saw (I've seen 4 in total) was excellent and really helped me a lot. He opened my eyes to a lot of things and helped me look at things in ways that I hadn't before. So please don't write off therapy in total, it can help and I hope you keep trying.

_________________________
Eddie

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#340912 - 09/27/10 09:10 AM Re: I finished my counselling - YEAH! [Re: EGL]
JustSurviving Offline


Registered: 04/22/10
Posts: 47
Loc: Hell
I spoke with a rep from the licensing board this morning. She called at 0800. We discussed what happened in detail.

Her response was, "I am terribly sorry that this has happened to you and I do not disbelieve you in any way. Unfortunately, this is something that can not be substantiated by your report alone, unless the therapist recorded the session, which he did not do. There is nothing in the session documentation about what this therapist said to you so we can take no further action at this time. I am sorry, however, rest assured that if another similar report is made at any point about this therapist, action will be taken."




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#340929 - 09/27/10 10:55 AM Re: I finished my counselling - YEAH! [Re: JustSurviving]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1627
Loc: Minnesota
Hey brother-

Good for you for taking action!' I wish you got a better response-but tell me how did you feel in standing up for yourself? In speaking your truth?

I'm glad other men shared their bad T experiences here-you started a good post. Thank you

_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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