since that time a few weeks ago when i decided to
be stupid get drunk and let my dad know whats what,
he has totally completely cut me off from him, his
family, everything. so theres 2 ways i can look at
it. one way is, im hurt, again, and confused with
his actions. i know i talked about it before. i
know what some of his reasns could probly be
for hating me. guess i keep forgetting its him andnot
me who has the problem. still hurts tho.
second thing is, im probly a lot better off having no
contact w him at all. ya thats been told to me a
bunch of times too.
my problem is, other then being to stupid to know
when ppl r using me, i guess i dont know how to say no.
its been a few weeks w no calls or anything. i called
him once and got hung up on. he said to my face that
day, pretend like i dont know him or his family exist,
that he dont wanna know me anymore. and not that i need
his money but there was an account set up for me by
him since i was a little kid w money in there. very
next day he closed it.
so what makes me a big stupid sap? if he called me
today and askd for a favor id be over there in a
heartbeat to help him out.
guess part of me thinks thats just me, cuz id do that for anybody even a stranger. but part of me STILL feels like i need to go out of myway and do stuff to make him like me.
he dont even have to love me. just like me.
that would be good enuff.
i will just never ever know why he goes out of his way
to be so hurtful. i never did anything bad to him or his
family if anything i been too good to them