Wow can I relate to your telling your mother.
You would hve thought she was reading the newspaper.... I offered her a couple of books to give her an idea of what I am going through. She kept them for four weeks. Upon my next visit wth her she returned them...unread. Once she found out what the subject was she did not have a need to read them.
I talked to my mom last week--not the first time I brought up the SA, but she pretends like none of it exists, and when I'm going through an especially hard time, I feel like she should at least care that I'm having a hard time, you know? I mean, if my leg was falling off, would she ask if my leg was OK? Well, I told her it had been an especially hard month, that I'd been in a lot of pain, and that I'd identified one of the things holding me back in life as the voice of my perp. Long pause. I said it makes me feel better to know that people care, people showing me their feelings and that they feel my pain. Long pause. I said, "No rush." Giggle and long pause. Then she said, "I have a dentist appointment on the 13th." I said, Oooookaaaay. And the conversation pretty much bombed from there. I called her back later and told her about this web site and the area dedicated to families. Silence.
Will I burn in hell for divorcing my mother?
How many times have I asked myself a questions like that? I get so sick of having to be the "good son". I'd just love to tell them that I never want to see or hear from them again. But my therapist says to take my time--don't rush into it. Which is probably good advice, because the only thing more difficult that slamming the door on our parents is trying to pry it open again when mom has cancer or dad dies or something. I'm not worried about hell when it comes to my decision to cut off the people who destroyed my life. I just know the day will come when I'll be cleaning up their piece of junk trailer for them, because they can't. So the "good son" I'll probably remain. But at least I've told her how I feel about her shallow conversation and lack of concern for the trauma I suffered.
I know I'll never get the support I crave from my family. That's why this site and having other supports is so important. People who will listen and care.