I remember when I first started to emotionally address the pain my abuse caused me, I went to confession with a priest. He slid a business card for a therapist under the screen, told me it wasn't my fault and that I was a victim of sexual assault. I remember saying, "Please don't say that I'm a victim." I'd always associated that word with a lot of negativity.
My wife talks a lot about the vocabulary used in therapy and how it hurts to hear people use too much recovery slang. Saying stuff like "playing the victim," "acting out," "trigger," "victim mentality" and "perp" make her feel incredibly uncomfortable. It's been a challenge to me because I've made the decision to seek therapy and try talking about my issues with a community that uses a lot of these words, and I want to talk about my recovery in a way that isn't going to bring about bad feelings.
I think you guys are all so much more complex than a bunch of buzzwords. Use words that make sense to you, because this place is about telling YOUR story and not trying to put it into someone else's box. Labels are helpful because they tell us a bit about what's inside, but they aren't everything.
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”
- Saint John of the Cross