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#338802 - 08/22/10 09:36 PM good news! big and positive change
honey girl Offline

Registered: 10/09/06
Posts: 245
Loc: Midwest US
Dear F & F,

My BF and I crossed a threshold last month, at least figuratively: we got married!

It was a challenging decision to make for both of us, subject to a great deal of reflection and discussion, and it was probably not a sure thing until about a month before it happened. Those of you who have seen my posts for the past couple of years might have some idea why it was such a daunting step to take...though it's still difficult, of course, to explain fully to anyone outside how well the relationship is working for the people involved.

But all in all, it seemed the right next step for both of us. We've done a helluva lot of work separately and jointly, in therapy and in 12-step programs; we have a much easier pace of our daily life; we have vastly improved communication and trust. So we did it! We had a wonderful ceremony and party, and a lovely honeymoon to boot. All of this, by the way, was a jointly-managed project, I am pleased to say--pretty evenly divided in terms of tasks and time needed from each of us to do them.

We are very much enjoying our married state and hoping that we'll be able to maintain the excitement of newlyweds for the indefinite future. We do seem to understand what exactly is at stake for us both.

Anyway, for perfectly understandable reasons we on the F & F forum tend to talk about our problems much more than our satisfactions. In the spirit of full disclosure, I wanted to share our good news and to say thank you to everyone here. This site and the people on it did help us reach the place where we could sincerely make a commitment to each other without hedging our bets.


I'm just a poor wayfaring stranger, a million miles away from home.

#338809 - 08/23/10 12:08 AM Re: good news! big and positive change [Re: honey girl]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
I wish you both the most joyous life possible together.

I love wedding cake!

Broad statements often miss their true mark.

#338814 - 08/23/10 01:41 AM Re: good news! big and positive change [Re: prisonerID]
hannah7 Offline

Registered: 02/19/10
Posts: 30
Congratulations and my prayers are with you!

And again and again Jesus said: It is I, I that you love, I that you enjoy, I that you serve. It is I that you long for, I that you desire, I that you mean. It is I that am enough for you. (Julian of Norwich)

#338822 - 08/23/10 03:43 AM Re: good news! big and positive change [Re: honey girl]
CruxFidelis Offline

Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
Congratulations on the commitment you've made to each other. I hope you have a lifetime of blessings.

“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

#338839 - 08/23/10 08:14 PM Re: good news! big and positive change [Re: CruxFidelis]
Pattycakes Offline

Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 109
Loc: Canada
Congratulations to the both of you!
May you be forever happy!


If you judge people, you have no time to love them.-Mother Theresa

#338882 - 08/24/10 04:10 AM Re: good news! big and positive change [Re: honey girl]
Sad in the Midwe Offline

Registered: 12/24/09
Posts: 21
Congrats! May you continue on the path of spiritual growth and feel the comfort of each other's support as you travel together...

#338905 - 08/24/10 04:24 PM Re: good news! big and positive change [Re: Sad in the Midwe]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
I'm glad you crossed the fleshold! smile

Getting married was one of the best things I ever did. Of course part of it was because I got a good woman. We enjoyed sex. She was more aggressive than I was because I had the reticence that comes from abuse. But her response helped me.

We didn't have problems until she developed a female ailment and I lost my amnesia about abuse.

Bon voyage




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