Well the short answer is: Yes - you've crossed a line with your mate and you'll just have to sort that one out with him AFTER you do something about your own issues.
Here's the point: Reading that reminded me of some episodes in my own life where I thought that my friend 'got' me and understood what I was going through. I thought being around him (also much younger - by 13 years) would help me work some stuff out.
Well - like Obi-Wan said - I was wrong. And in this case, it sounds like you're going about this the wrong way. You 'love this guy like a brother'? I'll tell you right now, there was a mate that I cared about that much, too. It was all up in my head, it was a bad idea and in the end I just ended up with the egg on my face.
Don't let it happen to you.
You're sexualizing the relationship, you're up in your head with the idea that he's going to respond to what you're doing in the way that you want and it probably won't happen. You're looking to him to heal your broken parts and not only can he not do that, he won't understand what you're talking about. Don't do that to him and don't do that to yourself. You're chasing a fantasy, man, and it will only end in tears.
Gotta motor - let me know how close/far off I am in how I'm reading your situation.