It sounds to me like your more involved with life now than you were in the past. This could account for why you look back less and instead look forward to your experience of life with this person. I'd say that's a success in recovery to be able to achieve that and then notice it too the way you have. That definitely sounds like something to celebrate and be happy about. I'm glad you shared it with us.
As for worrying about falling back to where you once were. I don't think you'll ever get back to that point after having such a fulfilling experience with this person in your life. Of course, disappointment and discouragement seem to always follow successes for me. You may be the same way. If so, try to be aware that this is the "old tape" playing which keeps us on guard after good experiences. This old tape will most likely make us look at the negative instead of the positive side of things. But dispute that feeling or belief that good things don't last or that disappointment is what is always meant for me. Dispute it with real evidence that this is not how things are now. Look around and see the positives or your experience rather than the negatives. And then see how those old tapes are just plain wrong. For now though, enjoy your success. Stay involved with life. Don't back off because you fear falling. Continue to notice how much you've changed for the better. Seeing progress in myself always motivates me when I get down or discouraged.
I'm glad for your success,
I see recovery as a lifelong journey rather than a final destination, a journey, though, which can have many successes along the way.
WoR Alumnus - Hope Springs, OH, October 2009
My avatar is the farmhouse at the Hope Spring, OH WoR. It's a nice place.