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#336369 - 07/19/10 09:13 PM Hiding No Longer
Letourski Offline

Registered: 03/15/08
Posts: 310
Loc: Canada
Hey Guys,

I remember the day the flood gates opened. Years of shame and guilt poured out of me. I was stoned out of my tree, and divulged everything to my now ex-girlfriend. The masturbation habits, the porn, the abuse I suffered, and everything else I had kept secret for so long. I left everything on the table that day.

I moved back in with my parents, and left her. My first night back I told my parents and my brother everything: the drugs, the lies, the mess my life had become. I literally spilled everything I had been hiding since the age of 8 years old.

I couldn't hold it in anymore. The burden of hiding everything was eating away at me. I felt like a failure in my dad's eyes and a terrible role model to my brother. I had to wipe the slate clean, and that I did. From then on, I lost my ability to hide and keep secrets.

I cannot suppress my feelings, and believe me I tried. When I am bothered with something I have to tell someone. Whether it be a close friend, here at MS, my girlfriend Michelle, or my parents it has to come out.

I have also started to vocalize the abuse I suffered. Each time I say it, I am hammering home, a painful, but necessary fact. The more I say it, the power it has over me diminishes.


I am the warrior.

#336379 - 07/19/10 11:18 PM Re: Hiding No Longer [Re: Letourski]
MusicMan Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/23/03
Posts: 146
Loc: Elmira, NY
Thanks for posting this Letourski. Once again, I have heard the same thing over and over from everyone here..."The more I say it, the power it has over me diminishes." I think that this is the way you can tell if you have a really good therapist. If the therapist can say this, you're good to go.

You are right. I'm glad that you are finding some progress and relief in your journey. Amen. Good for you.

God bless,


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