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#337325 - 07/31/10 03:59 PM Re: Uncomfortable around young children [Re: jls]
Clockwise Offline

Registered: 03/03/09
Posts: 304
Loc: Pennsylvania
One thing that scares me about chldren is the way they stare at you. I hate that. I always get uncomfortable when they do that and I'm terrified to stare back. I always imagine the parents will yell at me "Why are you staring it my child?" I couldn't deal with that emabarrassment.

Yet another 24 hours.

#337326 - 07/31/10 04:44 PM Re: Uncomfortable around young children [Re: Clockwise]
kidneythis Offline

Registered: 11/09/09
Posts: 1558
Children are more obvious in the same thing we all do. We key on the new. They are noticing something new about you, maybe your discomfort.
Either way the remedy is to work on accepting that children are going to observe and absorb what you do to add to their knowledge base. It isn't meant to make you uncomfortable. If you ignore this they learn that it is something they should not do over time.

As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

#337431 - 08/02/10 06:02 AM Re: Uncomfortable around young children [Re: ericc]
Alchemist Offline

Registered: 07/03/10
Posts: 9
Loc: Florida
Samuel, this is as much your thread as anyone elses. If you feel you want to say something please go right a head.

Originally Posted By: ericc
Not to sound like an a**, but some of the posts make subtle references to having thoughts that are uncomfortable, and then the last one says well if I had uncomfortable thoughts I'd go find a bridge. Thanks for clarifying, but then at the same time it seems condescending the way it was put. Sorry, just read this and that is what I am seeing.

I wasn't trying to subtly refer to anything. It's an uncomfortable feeling, but a non-specific one. That's all. But you are right I wasn't all too clear how I chose my words in that post.

What I really think, is that in a lot of these cases the abuse from the past puts us in a messed up place and it gets manifested in different ways. I would bet in most cases the uncomfortable feelings, however they come across, are often not what they seem anyway. It goes back to the past of the individual that was abused/violated. I think sometimes anxiety and fear trigger uncomfortable feelings. Anyway, whatever anyone's deal is with kids, if you have thoughts that come across as hurtful/damaging, in no case act of them. Thoughts are just thoughts and can be triggered from anything. Even if it is just uncomfortableness, I bet it is just fear and anxiety from one's own past. Truth be told, I often have a hard time relating to kids. I am getting better at it but it is hard. I don't know the right way to act myself, but I think a lot of it has to do with the walls I put up for so long I certainly didn't do much interacting with kids, let alone the fear I had that what if I could cross that line. I have no interest in that, but I bet it is a common fear for survivors, at least some, as we all know how lines do get crossed. Let alone the fear I have that all people think badly of me and therefore make assumptions about me that I then take on (all s*** in my head.) All this goes way back for me. Good stuff to think about.

This and what jls said make a lot of sense. I really appreciate your input.

"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known."
-Carl Sagan

#337506 - 08/03/10 05:28 AM Re: Uncomfortable around young children [Re: Alchemist]
ericc Offline

Registered: 01/05/08
Posts: 1986
Hey Alchemist,

I actually ended up changing my post a little before I noticed your new post above. Really I just removed the first part because I didn't want to come across as confrontational. I appreciate that you didn't take offense. I was just worried that someone who might have said something might then beat themselves up over whatever that is, when in fact talking about it and trying to understand what is going on might be better. But anyway, I get what you were trying to say. I think the whole thread is helpful.


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