Hey guys....I found a book by Rhonda Britton that has helped me, called Wheel of Freedom. Basically, I have gotten the following from it:

WHEEL OF FEAR-what me, and probably some of you, base our lives on.....feeling unloved, isolating, crying, trouble w/ relationships....the normal stuff caused by CSA, among others....really sucks.

WHEEL OF FREEDOM-What we were, and still are, underneath the fears. In my case, I was a loving, fun, courageous little guy, filled with a sense of wonder, before it was stolen from me.

While we need to feel and address the crappy feelings associated with abuse to heal, FOCUSING on the wheel of freedom and THOSE feelings, has really changed my life. I am not in denial, just doing things and focusing on feelings of who I actually am....the addictions/stupid behaviors do not seem to be so atractive, or even make sense, when focusing in this way

I hope that this can help someone

A scared little boy who is trying to heal and feel again..