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#334277 - 06/21/10 02:11 AM Neice getting Saxaphone lessons
onlyakid Offline

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1577
Loc: New Jersey
My sister-in-law was over for fathers day, she mentioned that my 9 year old neice wanted saxaphone lessons and that she knew this 89 year old man who gave them. Have I been watching too many episodes of Law and Order: SVU or am I right to be a little alarmed?

"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"

#334279 - 06/21/10 03:11 AM Re: Neice getting Saxaphone lessons [Re: onlyakid]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
The three pieces of information you have do not say anything at all about the person in question: 1. He is 89 2. He played sax at one time 3. he claims to teach sax.

You need a different kind of information. Character references. List of former students and how they are doing. Ability to teach.


pufferfish whistle

#334291 - 06/21/10 04:20 AM Re: Neice getting Saxaphone lessons [Re: pufferfish]
dark empathy Offline

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2667
Loc: durham, north england
I started learning flute at the age of eleven with a teacher in her fifties.

My boarding school had strictly regimented music teaching, enforced practice, extreme belittling and emotional torment if you didn't come up to scratch, a teacher who was just plane evil (I think she was the character model for prof Umbridge from the Harry potter series).

So, all in all I wasn't keen on starting the flute at all, and just saw it as a terribly bad thing, however, I found a lady who was not just 40 years older than me, but also extremely kind, actually rather shy and retiring herself, a really good teacher and if anything wasn't firm enough about things like practicing.

when I was 14, i learnt to play the accordian thanks to a deeply talented and extremely inthusiastic chap of 66, who was one of the most expert musicians I've ever met, and also extremely casual and great company.

Then, when I was 19, I went cross country skeeing and was taught by an old fellow of 76 who'd learn to skee just after the war, (nobody could catch him on a pair of skees),who was a great teacher and also a fantastic chap.

My point? I totally agree with alan/pufferfish here. You don't have near enough information to be worried, and while I understand your impulse I do wonder if because of your experiences you are slightly over sensative.

maybe you should go and see this fellow, or ask your brother or sister in law to do so, and establish that he's reasonable, ---- that's pretty much what my parents did.

this actually brings up a general point. It rather disturbs me how society and people in general are so bothered about any sort of men interacting with young girls (but not seemingly boys). It almost seems a case of paranoyer.

I remember for instance hereing of a 40 year old part time post grad being chucked out of a student society simply because he was! 40, and having him interact with girls of 18 was thought to be inappropriate, ---- even though he'd done nothing wrong at all.

Edited by dark empathy (06/22/10 09:38 AM)

#334389 - 06/22/10 12:10 PM Re: Neice getting Saxaphone lessons [Re: onlyakid]
happybuddha1 Offline

Registered: 05/19/09
Posts: 86
Loc: Michigan
My abuser was an older male piano teacher........just saying

Probably nothing to worry about, but be smart.

Take Care.

A scared little boy who is trying to heal and feel again..


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