I agree with James, it's a very difficult thing for a father to realize that his son was hurt as a child, since it is a father's job to protect his son. Maybe acknowledging your pain and abuse would have made your father face what he would have seen as a failure of his ability to live up to his role as protector of the son that he loved. Very sadly, it seems to me that as a defense against these feelings of failure, guilt, and most likely deep pain, your father told you to "get over it", which denied you what healing would have occurred if he had acknowledged the truth of your experience and the effects of your abuse, thus most likely (I suspect) providing you with an experience of abandonment and denial of the reality of your experience, just when you desperately needed to have your father listen to you, believe you, be there for you, and care for you. If I am reading too much into your post I apologize, it's just sad when those whom we love deny us our right to heal ourselves. I hope that some day we can all correct the damage done to us by abuse and abandonment.
My best to you,
Edited by Casmir213 (06/20/10 10:17 PM)
I see recovery as a lifelong journey rather than a final destination, a journey, though, which can have many successes along the way.
WoR Alumnus - Hope Springs, OH, October 2009
My avatar is the farmhouse at the Hope Spring, OH WoR. It's a nice place.