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#333572 - 06/12/10 05:30 PM Rejected again
kutcher Offline

Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 99
Loc: Delaware
I have been having extreme problems recenlty legally, emotionally and now I have lost my job. I have been trying to get to an SIA meeting with some of my friends but schedule, gas money and my son has kept me. I finally get a chance to go and the room has chairs to sit on and pillows to lay on the floor with, as with my group I chose the floor as it is more comfortable physcially and emotionally for me.

We open the meeting and everhthing is fine, I share that I am experience extreme issues at this time and I decided to come today to finally do something for me and then our break comes. During the break a friend approaches me and says some of the women are unfcomfortable with me laying on the floor can I move to a chair when I say the floor is where I need to be ok he says it is making the woemn uncomfortable so I get my stuff and leave.

I can believe a support groups actions tosomeone who said they are really struglling is to tell them to move to a chiair.

When I text my friends later they say I need to understand that the women have been so abused they need to feel safe. What the hell because I m not in the in group of SIA I have to follow them and discount my feelings for thier needs.

I am just so upset. I finally decide not to isolate all weekend and this is what I get. I am almost overt he edged on this one

#333575 - 06/12/10 05:59 PM Re: Rejected again [Re: kutcher]
kidneythis Offline

Registered: 11/09/09
Posts: 1558
I'm sorry you couldn't have your moment today.

As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

#333598 - 06/13/10 12:02 AM Re: Rejected again [Re: kidneythis]
TheBobcatAgain Offline

Registered: 02/13/10
Posts: 524
Loc: AZ, U.S.A.

Do you feel that they rejected you specifically? Were there other men lying on the floor? If so, were those men near the women? It could just be that the women felt you were trying to look up their skirts or something from your position on the floor (which I'm sure you weren't). It could have just been a big misunderstanding, buddy. I wasn't there, so I can't say for certain, though.

I also wanted to tell you that I think you're very brave, buddy. You overcame your desire to isolate yourself and went out into public. Maybe the result was bad, but don't discount the bravery it took to get you there. That's a really huge accomplishment, buddy! Maybe not for "normal" people, but for an abuse survivor, sometimes just getting outdoors is a success!

I'm sorry the result wasn't what you wanted, but I'm proud of you that you tried. As I've been told recently, the real failure would have been not to try at all. But you did! smile


Your friend,


#333904 - 06/16/10 10:09 PM Re: Rejected again [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
kutcher Offline

Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 99
Loc: Delaware

Thanks. It really seemed personal as I am not in the in group there, I hadnt been to this meeting in months, there are both pillows and chairs in there for just that purpose.

It was hard especially in that some of my male friends from a regular group I attend were there, one was asked to tell me this and the I felt a lack of support from the others in my group.

Thanks for giving me the encouragement and hugs, I am actually going to try and go to a different type of group this saturday and avoid the one. Although I have to say the evil side of me wants to go again on saturday morning and just lay there and refuse to move (lol) but I wont.

My love, honor and respect,



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