We need to process what happened to us, and there are many ways to do this-doing it SAFELY is important.
(I like the idea of bringing your wife along, but I would check it out with your T or close friends who know your story.)
For me, my mother still lives in the house where the abuse took place-and a lot of my memories of it are still buried, although enough has resurfaced that it bothers me.
Interestingly enough, my wife would complain that for the 14 years before the memories surfaced, I would "disappear" emotionally and physically when I was at that house-it's like some f***in ghost story.
Lately, I've uncovered some porn my brother/perp had when he lived there (1978), as well as some of my dad's porn-both are dead (2009, 2007 respectively), and this stuff still haunts the place.
I've done some smudging to help dispel the place, and REALLY need to take care of myself around visiting, especially making sure my strong, adult self is in charge and protecting the 9 year old who shuts down from all the terror of what happened.
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.
�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner