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#333649 - 06/13/10 06:18 PM Anyone dealt with this?
kidneythis Offline

Registered: 11/09/09
Posts: 1558
I remember now asking for help as a child before the final ECT and shipment of to a new kind of torture, foster parent abuse.

Anyway I wanted to get justice and everyone kept harrangueing me, bullying me and deliberately confusing me as if I were asking for something else. As if I didn't want to let things go and was just being a baby. I was told that repeatedly. Like my asking for help was illegitimate.

I've encountered this many many times since most recently, in how my medical care is not right and I feel like I am constantly suspect when I report my symptoms, and I am never given an explanation for anything no matter how often I ask (Its blackballing to protect the scum who disabled me) The fact that they refused to MRI my abdomen after the crash taking the chance nothing would happen if something did I'd be dead before they could fix it! and in my quest to get justice for the intentional injury that triggered my recall.

I now see it as just another manipulation to further abuse me and also deny me my rights. Have any of you been treated this way?

As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

#333655 - 06/13/10 07:46 PM Re: Anyone dealt with this? [Re: kidneythis]
kidneythis Offline

Registered: 11/09/09
Posts: 1558
I left the original post for a reference point on the improvment or lack thereof in my communication ability and not going tangential on a flash or whatever it is that sends me off topic.

Let me restate what I'm asking;

I was treated as if I were being a baby when I asked for help. I was made to feel I was not doing my own inner work. Even as I desperately tried to do that and learn. I asked and asked for clues I was denied repeatedly telling me I was just not trying hard enough. This went on and on and I never got help.

That form of denial of help has followed me all my life. On many occasions I am engaged fully in whatever it is and I come to a spot where I do not know something. WHen I ask I am denied this knowledge from someone who knows it because they attribute a negative motive to me or they say I should be able to get it myself. Somehow my lacking this thing which of course I cannot provide an exaqmple of at the moment, is treated as if I were deviant rather than just ignorant.
As I have gotten older I find that most people genuinely believe this about me.
But mostly it is/was a deliberate denial of the thing in question by using something I do not know to control me. By this I mean by denying me the information I do not know and I am stuck and unable to progress.
I never got to learn what others have learned to get around this because I was so young when it first started and I had to rely on people bent on destroying me to educate me.
My PTSD is so normalized to me I never realized I only dealt with a couple main people in my life as an avoidance mechanism and I almost never share what I hear and say with one person with another. Its as if the conversation I had with the other never took place. This was taught me by my abusers. I think most people are the opposite but I never knew that.

So do any of you encounter this? Do you find your lack of knowledge about facts or social protocol or any interpersonal interactions is used as a bludgeon against you as if you are responsible for having that trait or lack?

Edited by kidneythis (06/13/10 07:50 PM)
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

#333906 - 06/16/10 10:15 PM Re: Anyone dealt with this? [Re: kidneythis]
kutcher Offline

Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 99
Loc: Delaware

First let me tell you I get it. Second I too have PTSD and third it wasnt until recently that a Psychiatrist reviewed my case and my medical history and told me he never met a more untreated patient in his life, physically, emotionally and mentally and he was angry at all the Dr's who had come before.

And yes people use, my family and friends,or blame anything about my behavior, anger, sadness, on my abuse and refuse to except that they have legitemately done something that has hurt me or deny my right to be angry.

I hear you undertand you and sympathize with you.

My love, honor and respect.


#333915 - 06/16/10 11:22 PM Re: Anyone dealt with this? [Re: kutcher]
kidneythis Offline

Registered: 11/09/09
Posts: 1558
Thanks Kutcher

As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.


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