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#333101 - 06/06/10 07:21 PM For me
ryan_a Offline

Registered: 06/05/10
Posts: 7
It is an issue of comfort. I am in a relationship with a woman now, and I love her. Our sex life is fantastic. However, my abuse left me comfortable with sex with a man. I became used to the smell, taste and feel of a man. I also have to admit that some of my most intense orgasms came when I was with another boy or a man. To be honest, once I got used to having anal sex, it became quite pleasurable for me. I would never choose a relationship with a man because my woman compliments me more. However, my abuse has left me without the inhibitions that keep others from thinking about other guys in a sexual way. It isn't that I necessarily want to be with these guys, but I am not repulsed by the idea either.

#333195 - 06/07/10 05:49 PM Re: For me [Re: ryan_a]
michael Joseph Offline

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
Ryan you are not alone in this. There are so many different outcomes from abuse. As long as you are living the way you want to and loving yourself and others then you are on the right track. Sounds like you have a lot of awareness on what is going on with yourself sexually and what you want to do.

Michael Joseph

Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

#333238 - 06/08/10 03:23 AM Re: For me [Re: michael Joseph]
Bewlayb1 Offline

Registered: 08/04/07
Posts: 243
Loc: NYC
I agree, Ryan. If it doesn't interfere with your current relationship, there is no reason it should trouble you. Sexuality is more malleable than society would have us believe. It might be the stigma of being gay, more than anything, that stops the average straight men from experimentating. I understand your insecurities. But just because something is pleasurable, it doesn't mean you have to do it, especially if the alternative better suits you. And take it from me, if you ever did decide to pursue a relationship with a man, it would open up a whole new can of worms. You might have problems with trust, with guilt, with shame, with falling into patterns established by the abuse. Like me, you could end up waffling back and forth between gay, straight and bisexual, confusing yourself and everyone around you. I envy your happiness. Appreciate it and don't put yourself down because circumstances made you lose certain inhibitions. It'll only become a problem if you let it get to you.

#333281 - 06/08/10 04:31 PM Re: For me [Re: Bewlayb1]
wayne9 Offline

Registered: 05/15/08
Posts: 161
Loc: alabama
Sorry, I thought this was in the members only forums and made some comments I am not confortable with that could be read by some friends who know I post here. Nothing meant toward any surviours guys. Again sorry. Ryan, I will pm you my reply.


Edited by wayne9 (06/08/10 10:19 PM)


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