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#333017 - 06/05/10 08:16 PM "WHAT WOULD GIVE YOU PEACE IN YOUR HEART"
bla Offline

Registered: 04/25/10
Posts: 89
Loc: Northern Ireland
I got a visit yesterday by our church elder,I have not been in church much because I have issues over church and christianity.He did not say much about church or christianity,but about how i was,and feeling,He left me with words i find hard to answer or come to terms with,maybe other survivors could help answer them.
His words were."What would give you peace in you heart". I t got me to thinking,Would it be the abuse?,It happened a long time ago,Would it be getting even with the abuser?,He died 20 years ago.Would it be getting even with the church that the abuser belonged too?.
I'm very confused,I've been thinking of this all day,I just can't think of any more answers.
"Come on my fellow survivors,"how would you answer that question","What would give you peace in your heart"confused

May,life,light and love be ever with you.

#333019 - 06/05/10 08:40 PM Re: "WHAT WOULD GIVE YOU PEACE IN YOUR HEART" [Re: bla]
kidneythis Offline

Registered: 11/09/09
Posts: 1558
For me the thing I have always wanted, no more and no less, in relation to all things is fair and equitable treatment. The inevitable result of Fairness and Equity would automatically give me the justice I deserve.

I find I am not able to say exactly what it is I need to make me whole again. I think this is a known effect of abuse in the formative years. It was the intended result my abusers wanted to achieve. I do know this, you will know when you start to receive things that make you better. it may take a bit to name them even then. I know I have had the best results in Therapy when my T was honestly trying to help me and giving me honest responses. I find I regress and end up feeling absued when my T is "looking" for something or trying to create a result with their responses.

In my experience people who ask me what it is I want or might give me peace (I invariably say justice) are looking to undermine me in some way. Either by editing out all things I deserve that I don't list at any particular time or using small differences in that list as amunition to take me apart as if I were somehow dishonest. Generally the first thing said to me when I say Justice is "What do you mean by Justice?" What kind of scum thinks Justice is a labile term?

Be careful of anyone who asks you that. It might be a legit question from your therapist after you've made great strides in therapy and no longer get thrown off balance by random small arrows. The fact is if those who are given the authority to practice mental health care and distribute justice do their jobs properly you shouldn't ever have to tell anyone what you need to give you peace in your heart or anywhere else. It will happen by dint of them doing their job honestly and properly.

Something like this reaction in Scotland was what I expected when I first called NJ to tell someone and ask for help.

This is the sort of thing honest decent people seeking to help powerless victims do.

Edited by kidneythis (06/05/10 08:53 PM)
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

#333036 - 06/05/10 10:40 PM Re: "WHAT WOULD GIVE YOU PEACE IN YOUR HEART" [Re: kidneythis]
Marinan Offline

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 330
For me, it would be to finally leave the planet.


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