Thank you so much for your reply. It was very encouraging to me. I have been alone in this for so long and I have had to develop my own treatments (not difficult) outside ot the medical community.
Didi is frequently in MS here. She has a son who was abused at a young age, as I was, and he has similar visual problems. She now works for a Vision Therapy lab. She has shared some of her own insights.
I can tell you that I suffer from the same condition. I've had three surgeries to correct it; however, in all three attempts, it has failed. I also do the same thing that you do with using the one eye for up close things, and the other for far away objects. The curiosity for me is that both eyes can work independently of each other or I can use both eyes try to focus on the object and fight over focus. I have been told that I should be blind in one of my eyes considering the way my eyes work; however, this isn't so.
Thank you again, your confirmation of my experience is so encouraging.
They don't realize that we are using a type of dissociation in which the eyes switch. They have no idea of this. They will someday. It just happens that we are in a position to experience something they haven't dreamed of yet.
After three failed attempts, my family and I went to the University of Iowa in Iowa City which is the premier medical school for the Midwest. Our eye doctor had pulled a few strings for us to visit one of her teachers who retired. He apparently was the best eye specialist around the Mid-west; however, since he retired, he only dealt with children. I was a young teenager at the time.
I likewise have had some outstanding specialists, who seem totally befuddled by what I had going.
After he ran some tests, he discussed what he found with all of us. Basically, my mind is wired a certain way, and will not adjust back to normal working conditions even though the body is saying I'm essentially fixed. He stated that it was more of an issue of the mind which is what you have basically stated. So I guess in a way that you and me are very much alike.
There is some significant new research about the brain's ability to repair and reprogram itself. People with strokes and brain damage from battle have achieved some really good results. We also can reprogram and repair that visual apparatus in our brains, but it takes work.
I mentioned I went to conventional vision therapy for a couple of years. This loosened up the visual apparatus (not a technical term) and strengthened the muscles and allowed me to converge both eyes on an image.
Then I had reached the limit of what they could do for me. I was given the message gently but firmly that I would not profit any more from the vision therapy. At first I was discouraged. My new insight came from a remark they made, that a brain damaged patient had regained 3-D vision through use of a randot program he watched on TV. I knew I could not perceive the randot patterns, and so I decided to try more simple mechanisms. I got a bunch of 3-D movies from Amazon. Then I began to watch them. I promised myself to watch at least 20 minutes per day, making sure that I made the 3-D picture "pop up" into my brain. I had to work at this. It took effort. Then it got easier and easier. If you wish I can supply a list of the 3-D movies I found effective. With the advent of new 3-D television sets, it might be a boon for guys like us.
Here is what I know from high school and college classes. I sat in for a class on a seminar about how abuse/rape alters the chemical make-up of the brain. It was very fascinating, and it's the latest research out there. But basically, we have three responses when it comes to danger: Fight, Flight, Freeze. In psychology classes, we are always talking about Fight and Flight; however, when those two options aren't feasible, we freeze.
Yes that is right. I have a couple of books on recovery which talk about the freezing part especially.
I'll try to use an analogy for it. You take a picture of the brain, and that's what you use. It doesn't change, and it only happens during a traumatic experience. You are forever stuck at that same place in time. Today's therapy realizes that we cannot just simply talk it out. We have to use things that will release the brain chemically from that moment in time. Rapid Eye Movement Therapy comes from this, and there are many other options growing to help people through the traumatic experience.
yes, and by the way, EMDR therapy also seemed to play back into this problem in a very good way. It may well be that they will find some better treatments to help with this problem. So many guys are getting brain damage from the war efforts.
So in a way, my problem and yours could be caused by abuse IF (and that's a big if) we have had been abused during the period of time between correcting the eye problems and the development of the eye problems. But anyhow, that's what I know.
I was able to figure this out, although it was difficult. My mother had told me a long time before that my eyes got worse sometimes. Then it "hit" me that it was after abuse that they got worse. By the time I was abused at age 4 I had developed full coordinated use of both eyes. You can tell it from my pictures. My eyes are fully accommodated to perceiving things in 3-D. They were perfectly straight. Then as a teen, my eyes got progressively worse. I had such a heavy burden of abuse at age 12.
Thanks again for your input.