Newest Members
mmm coffee, Calibre09, FallGuy2154, Whoamitoday, Joe4618
13527 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
anon_wife (37), Chilly Willy (57), FC (57), JHB1976 (41), malitovsky1 (63), Roofus (46), Sara L. (35), TexasCowboy (55), toni (62)
Who's Online
4 registered (Jer, FallGuy2154, iaccus, 1 invisible), 27 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,527 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,365 Topics
491,401 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Topic Options
#332234 - 05/27/10 05:30 AM Immigrant parents
Kiev Offline

Registered: 05/25/10
Posts: 24
Loc: Georgia, USA, Ukraine
As I move closer to sharing my story, I now believe that part of my situation involved having parents who immigrated to the United States from Ukraine. When my situation was ongoing, I told my parents about it. I now am convinced they did not understand what I was talking about. They made me confront my person and apologize for my words. The situation only got worse after that. I do not blame my parents for anything, perhaps it was the language barrier or just not understanding what was happening. Before I lost my Mom to God, she apologized to me by saying; I am sorry for everything. I think she figured it out without saying it.

#332243 - 05/27/10 11:40 AM Re: Immigrant parents [Re: Kiev]
Sans Logos Offline

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5796
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
kiev, you have been given an invaluable gift as you take comfort in knowing your mom had figured it out. she owned her responsibility, and now you can let go of that and concentrate more fully on the how the abuse affects you, without the complication of how it made more difficult your relationships with others.

the old 'blame the victim' mentality never works. obviously, what you were trying to get across to them was so unfathomable to their sensibilities that they perhaps chalked it up to youthful insolence. speaking from my own experience, my own parents were of that generation who, shaped by the values of their era, were ignorant to the deep psychic needs of children to be treated and disciplined with the crook of nurture, not disregarded and dismissed with the backlash of denial. their response was understandable and quite forgivable.

i get the sense that you have arrived at the gates of our community with very little baggage in tow, and that you will blossom and flourish rather nicely in your recovery here. how appropriate that the time of your arrival here coincides with the blossoming of spring.

warm regards,


Ron Schulz, MSPC, NCC

#332281 - 05/27/10 10:28 PM Re: Immigrant parents [Re: Sans Logos]
Kiev Offline

Registered: 05/25/10
Posts: 24
Loc: Georgia, USA, Ukraine
Ron, very interesting dialogue. You make some great points in the "generation" point. My abuser was a pediatrician. During that time, physicians were held in high regard. I do miss my Mom. I would have liked to talk to her about this. Thank-you, too, for the "little baggage" comment. Being here, I feel welcomed and relieved. Soon, I hope to share my story. I liked the comparison of the spring, I am trying to reblossom and reinvent myself.


Moderator:  Chase Eric, ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.