I haven't posted in quite a while and wanted to share that things have been going very well.
A few cliff notes on me: My husband was abused when he was 8 - never told anyone until he told me when he was 42 and in the middle of a break down - he attempted suicide - then spent some time in a mental ward - and has been on the mend ever since.
There are a couple odd things in this post-disclosure time.
1. His personality changes - which are all for the better - but it's just odd to see the same guy with a whole new outlook. He SAVES money!! He's so CALM!! He has so much more confidence. It's kind of like the giant fog lifted and the sun came out. Or, better yet, in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy walks into Munchkin Land and the film goes from B&W to color. Just like that.....albeit a much longer process.
2. Sex is weird. Not in a bad way really. I'm just so much more reserved because I'm afraid of hurting him or scaring him. I used to do silly stuff like sneak up on him or push him down on the bed and jump on him like....well kind of like an attacker except we were clothed and I was only goofing around. I never would have done those things had I known so now I'm constantly saying "is this OK?", "is that OK?". It's working out and starting to get back on track though.
I was very angry with him for a very long time. Most of that has mended. Part of it is due to the anti-depressants I'm taking (and which I needed but wasn't seeking the help) and partly it's due to better communication between us.