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#32763 - 06/01/02 07:07 AM Re: My rant, wondering if anyone else been through this?
Muldoon Offline

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
mjh100 like you i have also been watghing from the backgrond for almost 4 months now. This has been best thing possible for me.I became a Survivor about 4 weeks ago. My abuse happened to me at the age of 12 , 40 years ago. Don,t go into your middleage carring all that pain. The hardest thing I have every had to do was tell my wife my scert after being married to her for 20 years.
I agree with many of the other, get help now when you are young. It will be hard at frist but you get stronger every day ,I keeped the silence for way to long and it took away so much of my life.
AS for this girl just trust your felling and go for it , but just go slow. don,t tell her anything about you feeling for her. ASK her TO START dating. Take her to the zoo , art mus live music anywhere that.s fun . If you are meant for each other you will feel it. Like the song say PLANT YOUR LOVE AND LET IT GROW.
Don,t worry about the sex , it will just be a super great day in you life. Take it nice and slow and let it build, you to have a partner in this and she will help you along. Go for it.

Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

#32764 - 06/01/02 01:36 PM Re: My rant, wondering if anyone else been through this?
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Don't we have a lot in common ?
It's spooky how many of us have spent 30 years or more going nowhere but down, telling noone, and then suddenly realising that somethings got to be done before we end up as bums ! Just in time for the regular mid life crisis as well- what fun eh ?
Lloydy \:D

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

#32765 - 06/11/02 11:18 AM Re: My rant, wondering if anyone else been through this?
Broken Offline

Registered: 03/25/01
Posts: 273
Loc: Huntingtun Beach, CA, US
your not the male with your lack of experiance. Dont judge yourself by your preconceptions of what "you should know already." I dont know step one about dealing with girls. It would be nice, but im not ready yet. But if i had what i thought was even a moderate chance id go for it, because life is too damn short, you know?

So we dont know what the hell we are doing, so what? You think women know any better than we do? From what i have heard, being sensitive and going slow only leads to better sex, because you are listening and being receptive to each other, therefore, learning how to do what best. I always thought the best part about having a relationship should be the natuaral expression of love, just letting your instincts guide you, letting go. Thats part of taking the leap of faith in love, is just closing your eyes and doing it. I have seen enough people fall in love the wrong way to know what not to do. If you are willing, just let the chips fall wheere they may.

#32766 - 06/11/02 04:06 PM Re: My rant, wondering if anyone else been through this?
MJH100 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 2
Loc: UK
thanks for all the replies. Just arranged an appointment with therapist for this friday. kinda scared about the whole process, but it is the only way that I can start to sort myself out. Will let you know how I get on, once again many thanks for your kind words.

#32767 - 06/11/02 07:22 PM Re: My rant, wondering if anyone else been through this?
Cement Offline

Registered: 06/05/02
Posts: 740
Loc: Southern California
Bravo, MJH, bravo. Therapy will be a help, and it is great just for you to be seeking it out. You have a wonderful start on us older guys, who, as Lloydy pointed out, are figuring things out just in time for a mid-life crisis!

And let the darkness fear our light.

#32768 - 06/11/02 11:33 PM Re: My rant, wondering if anyone else been through this?
Ken Followell Offline
Past President

Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 992
Loc: Bradenton, FL
Congrats MJH100!!! \:\) \:\)

Good luck with the therapist. It is vey scary, but worth it when you find the right one. I hope this first appointment is with someone you can trust and honors you. If not do not give up hope, keep looking. It is worth the effort to find a good therapist.


Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

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