thanks for posting-
For me, compulsive sexual acting out kept me in a shame cycle that started years ago with csa. I still can't do porn or even M without reigniting those feels of dissociation, isolation, self-loathing and hopelessness.
That kind of stuff also kept me from growing, from centering myself, and from feeling my feelings, which is the only way through to higher ground for me. Escaping doesn't work.
I have, however, found healthy sexuality AFTER I found ways to share my life story and all my secrets with brothers who had the same issues, and putting a moratorium on behavior that was unhealthy. I don't know if you have a community of brothers who can provide this safety and accountability. I found it in a 12-step program, SAA. they have online meetings and telephone meetings to, if there are no meetings in your part of the state.
Here is a link: http://saa-recovery.org/Meetings/UnitedStates/
(I can relate to not having the computer/laptop at home-it's been a number of years, but I faced that issue too and have built a better life for me. Congrats on some healthy reaching out and friendship-seeking.
have a super weekend.