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#325997 - 03/23/10 06:14 PM Another one of those times?
dark empathy Offline

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2687
Loc: durham, north england
Yes, just another bad point again, nothing to worry about.

I should've known when I cried at watching doctor who yesterday that I was heading for more feelings like these.

Just me again, another evening with worthlessness when I try to destract myself from grey feelings inside again. I'll write a poem soon, cry a bit more, listen to some music, maybe sit out on my balcony and watch the dawn sky in a few hours at five in the morning, ---- but that doesn't change anything, it never does, it's just a way of keeping going.

In an episode of being human a while ago, a person, --- actually a vampire, said he could change if he had someone to change for, someone who believed in him and that he was better than his nature.

Well, ---- I feel the same thing. if someone could just show me there's something more to experience, something more to live for, something more to find betwene me and others.

But nobody does, or will.

people give me complements that i don't feel, point at achievements that I don't believe in or attempt to tell me how young I am and how much else there is out there, ---- but nobody can show me, --- it's just me and my worthlessness, andoh look, I'm whining again, ---- pathetic isn't it.

I'm sure some kind person around here will pass me a complement or two as usual, ---- shame I can't feel it.

maybe it'll get me through until the next time anyway, as usual, ---- same old circle.

#325999 - 03/23/10 06:30 PM Re: Another one of those times? [Re: dark empathy]
Gus Bierer Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/16/05
Posts: 160
Dark empathy

Man you really sound depressed. I guess things aren't going so well. I like to study eastern philosophy, eckhart tolle and others. Usually, if i practice something long enough like meditation then it will carry me through the dark times.

I know how these periods are, can you find some kind of entertainment to make you feel better. You know something to laugh at or get yourself checked into a clinic where they have group recovery sessions. I think you need to be around some people who are hurting as well.

I hope this time passes by quickly for you, i'm thinking of you and i hope you can get some help, in the flesh that is.


My Story

#326083 - 03/24/10 08:23 PM Re: Another one of those times? [Re: dark empathy]
kidneythis Offline

Registered: 11/09/09
Posts: 1558
What triggered this sense of worthlessness?

I can see what is worth living for in what others are able to accomplish. I want things, a family or at least a group of people I can belong to, a nicer home in a nicer place, getting past this uncontrolled emotional roller coaster we all deal with, etc...I think its worth trying to get this for me, what we all deserve.

I feel an ache because i can't think of what might get through to you.
I go forward because I believe in the words of the US declaration of independence, We are all created equal, we do have an inalienable right to the pursuit of happiness. I am pursueing. We don't geta free pass, equality starts to change after birth that is why we educate everyone in an effort to make us all able to ensure our own equality. People probably don't see it that way but if we didn't we'd have a monarchy or worse.

But anyway you have to reach inside and find the reason that is there for you to pursue. You can be more than what your abuser tried to limit you to. We all can.

As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.


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