Hi, my brothers,
Yes, it sure is very difficult for some of us, whom never were taught the intimate, emotional & social skills necessary in life.
For me, i was never into girls/females, never had anything to do with them since my perp had me and this little girl (we were about 8 yrs old) in a telephone booth, rubbing our little faces into his crotch & then having me and that little girl rub ourselfs together (clothes on). Then we all went into the cellar, & if anything further between me and that little girl
happened i haven't been able to recall.
But my first encounter with girls/females was in the military & we were on temporary duty somewhere and we ran the bars & whorehouses. Now I had to go with a girl (go through the motions) to her room, but with a bottle of whiskey in one hand, i told the "lady" that all she had to do was just sit there, don't touch me. I'll pay you and when the time is up i'll leave. After all i never wanted anyone of my military buddies to think that i didn't like girls/females, as in their minds then he must like boys. And it would alyways be pure hell from that point on.
But, i did have sex with 2 females in my life, one was a German woman who had picked this boys cherry at the ripe old age of maybe 27. Then years later in Germany, i got a lady pregnant, so i did take responsibility for my actions and i married her. We were (still are) married for 36 years (now seperated). It was an emotionless marriage for me. I am sure that she gave me all 100% of her love. But i had never posessed those vital skills. I in all reality should have never been married. As my real sexuality all along, under the surface was gay orientated.
Haunting past. My "mom" & Ralph did their emotional & sexual damage to that little boy.
For those of you, despite all odds still are making a go of it, you have my admiration. For me and my wife it is over.
Heal well my brothers, heal well.
Little Pete & big Pete, +71
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.