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#323411 - 02/27/10 12:02 AM Ibetrayal
TW16 Offline

Registered: 06/11/09
Posts: 200
Loc: Utah
last night I was talking with a friend when he asked me if I was attracted to him and wanted to have sex with him. When he asked me this, he told me to be honest, so I told told him "yes, I am attracted to you and I kinda want to have sex with you." He then got upset and said that he didn't want to be friends again and to not call him anymore. He also asked me what sexual acts I enjoy, but he wouldn't tell me what he enjoys, (he too is gay). I told him that this wasn't fair for him to ask me such personal questions if he isn't going to he isn't going to answer the same questions.

When I told him that I was attracted to him and wanted to have sex with him, he said that he wasn't surprised and pretty much figured that this was true.

This is the worse thing I hate about being gay is when a guy asks me if I am attracted to him and then turns around and rejects me for either "lying" to him, or being honest and telling him that I am attracted to him. How do you deal with such situations?


#323450 - 02/27/10 12:30 PM Re: Ibetrayal [Re: TW16]
Sans Logos Offline

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5796
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
you run screaming from such idiocy as fast as your little legs can carry you. frown


Ron Schulz, MSPC, NCC

#323493 - 02/27/10 11:50 PM Re: Ibetrayal [Re: Sans Logos]
kidneythis Offline

Registered: 11/09/09
Posts: 1558
I agree with Sans Logos, he sounds very manipulative to me.

As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

#323525 - 02/28/10 06:30 AM Re: Ibetrayal [Re: kidneythis]
michael Joseph Offline

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
I agree with the above

to ask such a question it dumb in the first place

ask do you like being my friend, or do you want to be serious or just stay friends?

he was setting you up for failure and the loss of a freindship

For one friends do not put you into that position and then leave
that is not a friend

Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

#323556 - 02/28/10 04:03 PM Re: Ibetrayal [Re: michael Joseph]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
TW16 -

This guy is a real piece of crap. Sorry, had to say that. I have had slime like that crawl around in my life too.

I would guess that this had more to do with him than anything about you. I agree with the statement that a friend would not ask these questions. Who goes around asking anyone if they are attracted to him? Gay or straight it is stupid. Plus his reaction was just something to be dramatic about and play out so he may not have to face things about himself. Sounds like a drama magnet to me. Or a guy in need of any ego boost.

I am so sorry for you pain in this. Losing anyone is hard but I would say in the long run you are much better off.

Also, you were right on target with telling him that it is not fair to ask questions and not agree to answer ones concerning himself. I look at people like that as simply fishers of information for their own seedy minds. There is asking healthy information seeking questions for the benefit of another person or the relationship of the two. Then there are those who just want to hear things for their own enjoyment, curiosity or some other selfish reason. The are "gatherers" and need to be steered clear of in person and online.

You deserve healthy people in your life who ask for your betterment and progress as a person. I hope you have those. If not I hope you find them.


Broad statements often miss their true mark.


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