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#31959 - 03/23/05 07:48 AM About finding this place, this haven in a way
lostone Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/09/05
Posts: 14
On one hand I'm happy I've found this place and on the other I feel guilty because I have this place to go to and others don't. I feel like I'm leaving them out there alone and like I should bring them all here.

#31960 - 03/23/05 08:05 PM Re: About finding this place, this haven in a way
theo Offline

Registered: 09/28/03
Posts: 1122
our journey is our's alone. it is what we do with that journey that defiines us eventually. all we can do is share our journey and hopefully find peace in the fact that we shared, even others we would share with could not come with us through their own choice or inability to do so. find peace, my friend.

journey well,
theo dewolfe

- It is gift, and gift will find its way
- I inherit through my choice. I build through my affirmation. It is through my freedom that I nurture, or fade into autonomy
- I was not given to serve life, but to embrace it

#31961 - 03/23/05 08:43 PM Re: About finding this place, this haven in a way
self_righting Offline

Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 69
Loc: Tampa, FL

I think about this too. I ache when I think of the others that are also hurt by abuse. I wish there was somethig more I could do.
I think the only realistic thing I can do is to recover to the best of my ability. During my journey, I hope to become an advocate. I'd like to be able to speak out about the shame and abuse. I'd like to be a beacon that shines and lets other know that I am a safe person and a resource. I don't know if I'll ever get to that point but it is a goal. I think the best thing we can do is shatter the silence and shine a light into the ugly, dark shadows of humanity. The secrets and silence are what eat us alive. Maybe, if by living my life to its fullest and sharing my stories, then I can help others escape the trap of silence and secrecy. *shrugs* All I can do is try. Hope that helps.


#31962 - 03/23/05 09:24 PM Re: About finding this place, this haven in a way
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1798
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
Everything you Men say is so admirable.

You can all get there in your own time.

I used to not say a word about my abuse, now it’s hard to shut me up when I get started on the subject.

To me, the way I figure it, is if I am going to spend time during my day thinking about my abuse, then I’m going to put that energy to good use and help who I can.

You made me think about when I first got here… how shy I was to post, how I was worried that nobody would want to hear anything I said, or that I may anger someone…

It really warms me to see the effort you guys are putting into your recovery. I sometimes say here on the discussion board that you may not notice you are going forward until you look back and see how far you’ve gone. I think that may also hold true when you are able to raise your head, look around, and notice you have outward compassion for all the others out there.

Take care,


A friend, who is retiring soon, said something funny that struck me as appropriate for this place. He said:

I see the light at the end of the tunnel… and it’s not a train… so I got that goin for me.

#31963 - 03/24/05 06:53 AM Re: About finding this place, this haven in a way
RICK57 Offline

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
I found this place by accident when I really needed it. Had I not....????

I think that others will find their way here when the time is right for them to do so (I think that makes me a fatalist if anyone wants a category to put me in).

I wish no one needed to find their way here.

It is a place of extreme strength (even if you do not believe you are strong when you read my words - you are) and of people who have survived one of the greatest abuses of trust.

Strength and peace to you all..Rik.

*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

#31964 - 03/24/05 11:47 AM Re: About finding this place, this haven in a way
grendyl Offline

Registered: 12/04/03
Posts: 31
Loc: US West Coast
When I found this place I thought to myself, I don't need this, they may need this support, but I'm totally fine. However I kept lurking, seeing the positive results for others, and was really amazed. Today I am really glad I found this place.

I don't think I am strong enough to help others, but maybe the positive effects of this board ripple out with the people who have achieved such peace, and thus indirectly, perhaps many people benefit who don't visit here.


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