Newest Members
BeckBecks23, MtnBrewer, AloneInTheDark, football2018, Journey
13738 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
harrym (56), matthew123 (49), MeredithK79 (39), norcalbuckie (45), philipdeal (38), RandomStu (59)
Who's Online
0 registered (), 28 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,738 Registered Members
75 Forums
71,443 Topics
499,045 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#317820 - 01/06/10 01:35 PM "That's bull****...."
h.beat,h.break Offline

Registered: 06/05/09
Posts: 124
Loc: New York
That was what my father said to me when I told him that my older brother forced me into fellatio with him when I was just a 7 year old boy.

He doesn't believe that his oldest son could do something like that to his own brother, yet at the same time, he does believe that his youngest son can be gay.

But sexuality isn't the problem here: the fact that I have no support in my family now is what's bothering me. That's bull****.

Hey, if "black sheep" means you're the only non-douche of the family, take that with some pride.

#317825 - 01/06/10 03:05 PM Re: "That's bull****...." [Re: h.beat,h.break]
GentleSoul Offline

Registered: 03/05/07
Posts: 244
Loc: San Diego
I'm sorry that happened to you Remy. Thanks for sharing that. But kudos for disclosing to your dad about the abuse. That took a lot of 8@||$ dood. You know we'll always support you here bud. Take care and hang in there.


I can finally admit I pretend to say and do nice things so people will think I'm a standout guy.

#317910 - 01/06/10 10:29 PM Re: "That's bull****...." [Re: GentleSoul]
catfish86 Offline

Registered: 10/27/09
Posts: 833
Loc: Ohio
You gotta love parent's reactions to this stuff. When I was 14, my brother abused me and my mother's reaction at the time was, well, you wanted it... I do love my mother, for the vast majority of things she is 110% behind me, but that was raw. I guess it would be a real wonderful position to be in if you look at it from their perspective, remember they often still love the perp as only a mother could...

God grant me
The Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

#317911 - 01/06/10 10:48 PM Re: "That's bull****...." [Re: catfish86]
DJsport Offline

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742

Safe hugs,

That is a double standard and NOT a supportive statement.

Although it is tough to process and understand as we all need to be understood by our family especially our parents we can grow and overcome this sticky situation.

One day your dad will need you.

And your right it is bull*** to NOT have support from family BUT you have it here.

Dads are very harsh. You are a good man.

Hang in there,

Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

#317913 - 01/06/10 11:12 PM Re: "That's bull****...." [Re: DJsport]
cstjude Offline

Registered: 09/05/08
Posts: 302
Loc: Canada
Ah, there's our old friend,"DENIAL"! I am so sorry Remy, that reaction was cold. Your father's gut reaction was denial. Perhaps you will have another opportunity to bring it to his attention and to heal with your father once he has had a chance to process his reactions. That is your choice. I am sorry your family is not being supportive.

We support you and your decision to take on this subject with your father. That was courageous.


Female, Friends & Family Forum Fan

#317943 - 01/07/10 02:16 AM Re: "That's bull****...." [Re: cstjude]
lars3229 Offline

Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 800
Loc: Iowa

Sorry to hear what happened. Some parents just NEVER get it, my own included. They are so busy looking for that perfect 1950's family, they forget reality and enter their own form of denial.

I swear my mother is still living in that 1950s perfection mentality we all remember from the sitcoms, but reality is another story. She can't see that anything bad could have happened to her son because that would mean she somehow failed... not that that's true, and not that I'm excusing her or your father's behavior, but sometimes it helps to see that parents have their own emotional ride to go through with all this and even though it sucks for us, sometimes it has a way of educating both the survivor and his family. I sincerely hope that is the case for you.

Other times it just sadly points out that those that are toxic in our lives simply cannot be a part of our lives. I wish you all the best in this, and know that your brothers here love you and will support you all we can.



You may trod me
in the very dirt
But still,
like dust,
I'll rise.

-Maya Angelou

"I quite often remember to forget these sorts of things."
-Winnie the Pooh, The Tigger Movie

#318017 - 01/07/10 12:22 PM Re: "That's bull****...." [Re: h.beat,h.break]
nevragan Offline

Registered: 10/23/08
Posts: 907
Loc: NC
Sorry to hear your dad's reaction. My dad too reacted to me with harsh remarks also. He claimed that I must have wanted it and was the reason it happened. He also fought in front of me with mom. They went on and on about how their son must be gay. This was after I was caught acting out when I was 13. Anyway, your not alone. Parents just don't get it sometimes, in my parent's case, they don't get it at all.

#318019 - 01/07/10 12:41 PM Re: "That's bull****...." [Re: h.beat,h.break]
Sans Logos Offline

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5796
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
my dad was well aware of my older brother's sexual abuse of 4 of us by my older brother. and he neither said nor did absolutely nothing. wtf?????

Ron Schulz, MSPC, NCC, CCTP

#318039 - 01/07/10 03:23 PM Re: "That's bull****...." [Re: h.beat,h.break]
kidneythis Offline

Registered: 11/09/09
Posts: 1558
Sorry man. I think its pretty common.
When I was home that first night I trhought I was finally out of hell my brother began assaulting me, we had to share a bed. I screamed and yelled to get my parents up and dad made me get back in bed with him and told me to shut up.

welcome home son.

As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

#318535 - 01/11/10 11:16 PM Re: "That's bull****...." [Re: kidneythis]
sugarbaby Offline

Registered: 08/17/08
Posts: 382
I have friends who have expressed the same reaction from parents. My husband's parents still do the "don't talk about it and it never happened" response.
I don't know what to say except that you are certainly in a lot of company with that reaction.

Page 1 of 2 1 2 >

Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.