I am glad you decide to get help. I was most resistant at thought of therapy also, at thought of telling of this in 'real world', and also with language barier, I fear of not saying things right, and that make it harder. I was so much of panic with first appointment, I total block it out of head. Even now, is two weeks after it, I can not tell you of what happened at that first appointment, of what I say, because it is block out of my head. I hope that you have much better time of it than that. I know it will be most difficult, emotionally. But as one friend I meet online tells me, remember that you are boss of therapist. You get to set the boundaries, and get to say 'no' if you want to. That person is one who is to work for you, to help you through this. I wish you luck and I wish you well.
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.
"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963