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#31234 - 10/24/04 06:32 PM Re: False logic
al Offline

Registered: 01/08/03
Posts: 143
Loc: canada
i think maybe its about hope to. maybe we think we did something not quite right this time and if we had a chance to start over again fresh maybe we could do it right this time. run away from the problems, find new friends you can trust intimately, confide in them and maybe somehow they'll be able to fix something or make it better swomehow.

there's some kind of joke i heard that goes something like "(some person) is so dumb he tapes the game and watches it a second time thinking they couldn't posssibly win twice in a row".

maybe for us its stuck in our mins that we want a second chance cuz maybe this time we could do something about it. if we actually did get that chance, fasle logic is thinking we could either be happy hiding behind those massks or the outcome of haveing close friends to tell would somehow be different and maybe we could fix ourselves this time.

my 2 cents. make that $427.46 canadian \:D

Those who dance appear insane to those who cannot hear the music. Mark Kleiman

Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it. Winston Churchill

#31235 - 10/24/04 08:55 PM Re: False logic
MikeNY Offline

Registered: 03/07/04
Posts: 927
Loc: NY
Like 80% of people, I knew my perp. My perp used this logic. It went something like this:

I love you so much that I am just going to ignore everything that you are, everything that you believe in, everything that you say, your stated wishes, your feelings, your beliefs, just everything, and I am going to do whatever the hell that I want to to you, then I'm going to try to convince you that it is love, and then I'm going to tell you that if you care about me, you will just accept all of this crap, and I will ask you to trust me because I know what I'm doing. Plus, I will try to justify it by attempting to convince you that I do those things because they are all what is best for you, and possibly for others.

Perps are nothing but animals, acting on animal instincts for desires. These animals then try to justify their actions using their own confusion over the freudian conflicts which have developed to the point of them being able to justify anything, including their own actions, using false logic. These conflicts have fully manifested within them to the point of them acting on them and causing harm to others. Regression to an earlier stage of development finishes the conversion from human to animal. Logic dissapears and all that is left is emotion. When the emotion ends, the false logic is used in an attempt to justify their animalistic behaviors.

The perp, projects their own torn and confused mind upon us and attaches their confusion to our feelings. The split which is within the perps mind, is transfered into the survivors. Fortunately, most of the justifications never are. I do not remember the exact numbers, but it is something like 90% of all perps have a history of having been abused. Plus, 90% of all survivors NEVER become perps. You would think that with these figures, the number of perps would be reducing. They will in the future if awareness grows. It will in the future if perps are stopped before they are able to perpetuate themselves like a virus (or as I have heard it refered to: vampire syndrome). 1 in 10 are infected, so if a perp has 20 victims, there are two new perps.

I haven't looked at this stuff recently. If anyone has updated statistics, please post them.

Ever wonder why we spend so much time trying to figure out, understand, and even justify the actions of sick individuals who do disgusting things to us? Why do we even try to place ourselves within the context of the mind of our perps?

We do it because the things which they do are so foreign to us that we cannot even come close to comprehending them. We do it because we are not like them. We do it because we have no concept or understanding of their behaviors. We do it because we are far better than them. We do it because we know and feel things which they are utterly incapable of. We do it because down inside each and every one of us, we truly know and understand what love is.

Do yourself a favor. Stop trying to justify their actions for them. Just hold them responsible for their actions. Just take the blinders off and see them for what they truly are.

Once you've done that, you will start to understand things far more than you even want to.

I have come to understand the motivations of my perp. I am glad that I am not like those people. I wish I never learned any of the things which I have concerning it.

Part of what tears us apart is our desire to understand them, the desire which we had to not see them get hurt or in trouble, and a desire to forgive them. In most cases, we gave them love and trust which they are not capable of understanding. Now, thanks to how they infected us, most have a desire to do everything possible to never become like them, while at the same time suffering from some of the residual effects that they left behind.

The cycle stops here. It stops now.

"Every child asks the questions which hold the answers to the secrets of the universe, WHAT?, and WHY?". --Me

#31236 - 11/14/04 02:50 PM Re: False logic
lostcowboy Offline

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 798
Loc: Rhode Island
MikeNY first let me say thinks for starting this thread. I firmly believe that false logic generated due to our SA, and other bad things that happen to us, and some normal things that happen, but or misinterpreted due to our SA are at the heart of our problems! we also have negative tapes that we play in our heads that our reinforcing. There is a old book called Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz that talks about the tapes. There are maybe better books out there. But I have not read them yet I'll see I can find some of my old books.

I still haven't written much here, but here are some of my false logic's.
I was raped in 1968.
I thought the boy who raped me may have done it due to me using the wrong names for black people. Or my feminine nature. Later I thought the boy must have been gay boy that could not, or did not want to control his sexual attraction to me.

Because I did not continue fighting until death when he put a knife to my throat, but instead chose to live and summit-ed, that meant I was a sniveling COWARD! You know John Wayne my hero, would have gone down fighting! So I had to have been a coward, never could be a hero!
I read in a sex book that it is normal for some boys to become aroused in puberty, around there mother. Normal boys have guilt trips over this. Us due to the SA have living nightmares that never go away! Example my mother got a divorce. She pulled me onto her lap for a hug, I got a erection, and broke away so she would not know that I was becoming my own worst nightmare, a rapist! I tried to stay away, but became a peeping tom on my own mother for a short while!

I must be the invisible man, no girl can see me.
Being that I could not defend myself, no women in my age group would ever want me! This one seems to work like a self fulfilling prophecy! The only girls that showed any type of interest in me were half my age in my young years. Later there were prostitutes and stripper in my age group, but they were only interested in my money. My wife is thirty years older than me, I think I married her for all the wrong reasons, but she has stuck with me through thick and thin, and I have learned to love her dearly. That's all for now.

Take care,

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

#31237 - 11/14/04 11:52 PM Re: False logic
reality2k4 Offline

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Mike, I will only ever \:\)

When no kid is abused, and I mean absolutely none

Hope we can make a difference for the future generations,


Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

#31238 - 11/15/04 12:21 AM Re: False logic
dwf Offline
Moderator/BoD Emeritus

Registered: 05/24/03
Posts: 1223
Loc: Austin, Texas USA
Hi Mike, thanks for starting this thread.

A big mistake I continue to make over and over again is to believe that logic, false or other, is the effective way to experience emotions.

And that, I'm afraid, is absolutely not true.

So in a way whether the logic is false or true matters little, because in order for me to process, digest, move through, and make progress by means of what I am feeling, I must actually have the experience of that emotion.

Talking about, understanding logically, intellectually parsing and other rational attempts at defusing the emotional content of my life is like reading a map and expecting to then look up and find myself arrived at the destination. It helps to be able to read the map, but it's not the end of the process.

Understanding the directions is no substitute for taking one step after another on the path toward what I am seeking.

Logic, of any kind, applied to emotions, is an attempt to apply laws of one realm to an entirely different world with its own laws and dynamics.

That's why false logic seems to work just as well as true logic in dealing with what are essentially emotional disturbances.

Perps are nothing but animals, acting on animal instincts for desires
To me, this statement represents an attempt to impose logical constraints on situations that themselves deny any logic. Sexual abuse does not represent a logical construct. They are not rational events, therefore they are immune to rational deconstruction and understanding.

As an expression of hatred, anger, bitterness, revenge, superiority and many other emotions which will help me separate my identity from the abuser, it may well be of temporary assistance to view the perpetrator as an animal, less than human, so different than me that I am able to despise him for what he did.

But in the long run, I feel strongly that the true healing for me comes at the moment that I realize that the abuser, perpetrator is disturbingly like me. A human being with the power of choice, who has chosen wrongly, and who is unwilling or unable to show or feel remorse for the harm he has done.

Thinking of the perpetrator as a possible "me", forces me to assume the burden of responsibility for my actions and to monitor my behavior, because it is not animals who harmed me, but men of flesh and blood, made in the image of God just like me who have made irresponsible choices in their behavior and done grievous harm to me and others.

No seeking argument here either, so please forgive my tendency to sound pedantic or argumentative on my part. I knew I should never have studied French literature! :-)

I'm really trying to say that our false logic represents the best that we are able to do at the time to deal with difficult if not impossible situations.

For me, what a lot of my recovery from sexual abuse comes down to is finding better, more effective ways to process, handle, survive, grow through and recover from the effects of sexual abuse. Better ways, meaning that what I have done up until now was OK too.

There are many solutions to the problems brought about by sexual abuse. Some of them are harmful to me as a person; compulsive behavior, alcohol and substance abuse, promiscuity, these and many others are types of solutions. Not great ones, but solutions none the less.

These poor solutions have kept me alive long enough to get here where I have a chance to find better, more effective, loving and growth filled solutions.

I really appreciate you and the other guys here being a part of that better solution for me. I continue to seek more and continue to be rewarded with more chance for emotional expression and healing. Then I have no more need for my false logic.

Thanks for a great topic. I really needed it today. My thinking today is "If I had more money, my problems would be solved." "Or if I could get laid, I would not feel so lonely."


"Poke salad Annie, 'gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang"

-Tony Joe White

#31239 - 11/15/04 12:17 PM Re: False logic
dwf Offline
Moderator/BoD Emeritus

Registered: 05/24/03
Posts: 1223
Loc: Austin, Texas USA
This quote expresses with great eloquence an idea I tried to express above:

If it were all so simple!
If only there were evil people
somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds,
and if it were necessary only
to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them.

But the line dividing good and evil
cuts through the heart of every human being.
And who is willing to destroy
a piece of his own heart?
-Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

"Poke salad Annie, 'gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang"

-Tony Joe White

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