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#311335 - 11/22/09 12:56 AM Re: What ended your abuse? [Re: jls]
ericc Offline

Registered: 01/05/08
Posts: 1986
I don't remember how it ended. I absolutely have no clue how it stopped. My best guess is that things happened about three or so occasions but I don't know for sure. The only real clear thing I remember is that night it started, though I have bits and pieces throughout what occurred.

After it all began I know I became a more willing participant but I don't remember how any of the other times started or what was discussed. I repressed the whole thing for like five years and there is stuff I just don't think I'll ever know.

I stayed friends with this person through high school and even saw him a couple times after I remembered my first year in college. I didn't really understand the nature of what happened at the time and really I just wanted all the memories to go away. I never mentioned anything to him. My guess is he never forgot. I have not seen this person in over fifteen years.


#311337 - 11/22/09 01:15 AM Re: What ended your abuse? [Re: ericc]
jls Offline

Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
I remember the most from when it started also. Like you, it felt like I was becoming more of a willing participant as time went on. The rest is a blur. Now I am able to see this as him grooming me. Whenever I tried to stop it he made comparisions between what we were doing and younger kids that he said he'd been with, which I find disturbing to this day.

Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.

#311343 - 11/22/09 03:45 AM Re: What ended your abuse? [Re: jls]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus

Registered: 01/28/08
Posts: 2614
Loc: Central PA
First three... they moved! Huge dysfunctional military family finally got transferred!!

4th.... she got annoyed that I was being silly (I was uncomfortable and nervous and what else does an 8 year old do...?) and left. Course that left me feeling bad because she was mad at me.

5th, for some reason one day he up and made it clear we couldn't be "friends" anymore. I don't know what I hate him more for. The fact that he raped me or the fact that he then just threw me away.

#311351 - 11/22/09 05:06 AM Re: What ended your abuse? [Re: JustScott]
mrrecovery Offline

Registered: 07/23/08
Posts: 80
great question...I don't remember exactly...I recently did a meditation exercise with my T where I tried to envision the actual incident came up where my abuser asked me to "play" and I refused...i think that i refused a few more times and then the invitations stopped.

WoR Alumni - Mysthaven Nov 7-9, 2008; Advanced WoR - Alta Sept 11-13, 2009, Mike Lew Victims No Longer Workshop 2010, Malesurvivor International Conference 2010

#311352 - 11/22/09 05:29 AM Re: What ended your abuse? [Re: mrrecovery]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
1. My family moved.
2. My family moved.
3. German measles and then family moved.
4. My family moved.
5. camp lasted 2 weeks and then it was over


pufferfish whistle

#311353 - 11/22/09 05:30 AM Re: What ended your abuse? [Re: mrrecovery]
petercorbett Offline

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2509
Hi, my fraternal brothers.

For me the sexual & physical abuse from my "mother" stopped when i went into that orphanage/Home. At age 10. But the emotional & mental abuse continued unabated until i left for the Air Force on my 17th birthday.

From Ralph & those strangers it went on untill, we/i moved from Boston to the country. I was then 14 yrs old.

Heal well my fraternal brothers, heal well.

Little Pete & big Pete..but 1 (Irishmoose).

Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.

#311354 - 11/22/09 05:34 AM Re: What ended your abuse? [Re: DJsport]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: DJsport
at age 12 he was 19 at the time.
I turned around and stated "you touch me again and your member is going in the pail with the bulls nuts". He stated ooooo just try and reached from my pants again. I grabbed his member-balls and squeezed so hard he started to cough. I yanked on them as well as squeezed them. He begged ME to stop. I let go and he ran.

DJ that's a really good one!!


pufferfish smile

#311356 - 11/22/09 06:04 AM Re: What ended your abuse? [Re: pufferfish]
alan55 Offline

Registered: 08/19/09
Posts: 202
Loc: Seattle, WA
My perp moved away when I was 7. He had abused me for a couple of years. We lived next door and I was 5 when it started, and like I said, it stopped when he moved when I was 7. As we all know here, the damage has been done for the rest of our lives.

#311454 - 11/23/09 02:18 AM Re: What ended your abuse? [Re: alan55]
Riley Offline

Registered: 01/11/09
Posts: 599
Loc: USA
I'm glad to see alot of you had the courage to stop it on your own, good for you guys. My brother just kind of stopped when I was 13. The frequency slowed down and then one time he just stopped, I never said anything, he never said anything. It kind of bothered me, I had no sense of closure.

Unfortunately, when he stopped so did any kind of attention, so I started acting out and causing trouble to get attention that way.

#311474 - 11/23/09 06:48 AM Re: What ended your abuse? [Re: Riley]
usmc97 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/02/05
Posts: 443
Loc: Colorado
The physically/mentally abusive mom's husband is still married to her, I guess I got away from that when I left the house in my mid teens and refused to go back.

The first perp disappeared and probably had a fake name. He quit hurting me once he gave me over to the "group", never saw him again.

The "group" stayed anonymous and hurt me the most by far, I still don't know exactly how many were involved but it was a lot, they were extremely organized in what they were doing. I don't know how or when things stopped with them.

The priest was the last, I don't know for sure if it was at the same time the others were hurting me or just after. I kind of think things started with him before the others were done with me though, don't know that it matters much. I learned a few years ago from my doctor doing some research that the priest was murdered by someone. That's kind of the only info that ever came about.

I don't remember how things originally ended, I just had no memory of anything throughout high school, I had other problems just trying to get through school and taking care of myself. I was homeless by my senior year and graduated that way.

Everyone got away with the things they did to me, there's nothing I'll be able to do about that. I wish I knew how everything ended back then so that I could have some kind of idea of how to make it end now.

Semper Fi

The statistics? 1 in 4, 1 in 6?
...then there's me the imaginary number

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