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#309441 - 11/05/09 09:28 PM "Nother survivor needs help
blestroller Offline

Registered: 10/22/09
Posts: 1
Loc: New York
Hello everyone am glad to have found you.
Can someone help me? I was molested by a step uncle in 1973/4. Am sure he is still at his game as my brother was a later target which I found out later.
I want to press charges or get listed or stop him. How do I go about that? I know what state he lives in. 4 years ago he moved to another state. Probably for a fresh start.


#309500 - 11/06/09 01:41 PM Re: "Nother survivor needs help [Re: blestroller]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5781
Loc: Lyons, CO USA
If you want to press charges, you should check out the statute of limitations laws, both criminal and civil, in the state where the abuse took place. It may be complicated if the state where he lives is different from the state where it took place but it may allow you to do a civil suit in his current state.

You can go online and either contact the district attorney's office for criminal or look for a lawyer who specializes in civil suits.

Blissfully retired after 35 years treating sexual abuse

#309520 - 11/06/09 05:14 PM Re: "Nother survivor needs help [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
DJsport Offline

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Hi, blestroller.

Welcome to MS. Ken has given some great information. I am not sure of the laws in NY.

We have a diverse group of men here and a lot of support to offer.


Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

#309524 - 11/06/09 05:26 PM Re: "Nother survivor needs help [Re: DJsport]
sono Offline

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1069
Welcome Blestroller,

I'm sorry for your pain and hurt you've suffered at the hands of a family member no less. Many of us here know how that is. Good luck with whatever path you choose to take. I hope you don't make your healing dependent on any specific outcome of that or any other confrontation plans. Your healing is all about you.

Welcome again!


the family
the perp

#309530 - 11/06/09 07:12 PM Re: "Nother survivor needs help [Re: sono]
just me Offline

Registered: 05/27/09
Posts: 205
Welcome and best wishes!

Most states require reporting to CPS (Child Protective Services) even if if the CSA happened years before (and even when the perp is dead-really)
NYS Hotline information:
Child Abuse Hotline Number: 1-800-342-3720

My Story

#309916 - 11/11/09 12:21 AM Re: "Nother survivor needs help [Re: blestroller]
kidneythis Offline

Registered: 11/09/09
Posts: 1558
I'd report as much as you can recall about it and his M. O. My thinking is, if he is still up to his old tricks he has done this to someone within the statute of limitations.
That may not help you but it may save people he has access to.
Not to make this about me but I think it would do to be prepared. Don't expect a lot of sympathy from the DA, the Police or CPS, in my case they psychologically abused me to try to make me go away so they didn't have to record the facts. It took me a year and a half to get the info on how to report and I had to argue with the police to be allowed to do so. They then had a DA call me and tell me flat out that they weren't going to look into it. I have asked for that statement in written form and cannot get a response from the DA's office.
Just be ready to stand up for yourself and any other kids this guy has hurt. When the baloney starts working on my ego I try to think of all the other victims of the people who abused me who can't speak up for themselves.

Edited by kidneythis (11/11/09 12:31 AM)
As Mark Twain once quipped, history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.


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