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#310886 - 11/19/09 12:15 AM Re: My husband told me he is bi and more [Re: catfish86]
anotherCircle Offline

Registered: 11/02/09
Posts: 8
Loc: USA

My H told me about the abuse. Not as bad as I thought but it did happen more than once - he can remember 3 times over the course of the summer when he was 8 yrs old. It may have happened more than that, he doesn't remember everything.

As far as recovery, it's a closed book with him. He is willing to go to therapy, but aside from that, he would rather not think about it.

As for us, we've been living our "normal" lives, or at least acting like it. This past week, I've been happy. But in the back of my mind, I am still reevaluating our entire relationship. Anger, paranoia and the inability to trust him are still holding me back. There are suspicious memories that still don't make sense. He said that I know everything now, there are no lies or secrets, but I have a hard time believing him. It's frustrating, and driving me absolutely nuts.

He's the kind of man that can, obviously, keep a secret all his life and be content with that. I can't keep a secret for more than an hour without it seriously bothering me.

I've been feeling like things were going to work out. Then I remembered something and now I've done a complete 180.

I'm thinking therapy is a really good idea, lol.

Edited by anotherCircle (11/19/09 12:16 AM)
"If the world could have remained within a frame, like a picture on a wall, then I think we'd see the beauty, stand staring in awe at our still lives posed, like a bowl of oranges..."

#310892 - 11/19/09 12:47 AM Re: My husband told me he is bi and more [Re: anotherCircle]
WalkingSouth Offline

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16270
Loc: Waldport, Oregon

I think you've figured out that you can do nothing about his "stuff" but therapy would definitely be a positive thing for you to pursue. Work on "your stuff" whatever it may be. Heaven knows we all have "stuff" that needs worked on so go for it. There's no shame involved and if you run onto one of your friends that tries to put a shameful twist to it then perhaps they're not as good a friend as you thought they were.

Best of luck smile


"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

#310899 - 11/19/09 01:05 AM Re: My husband told me he is bi and more [Re: WalkingSouth]
needtobefreed Offline

Registered: 03/07/09
Posts: 26
Loc: Maryland

I feel for you. I know this is tough on you, and can't imagine the emotions you must be going through. I have seen some others recommend that you point your husband here. I am going to reiterate that. He really needs help. There is no keeping of a secret your entire life, well, I mean you can of course, but not without a price. I am paying the price now as the stress I have put myself through has broken my body.

Your brother
Alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA. May 2009
Alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA. May 2010

#311531 - 11/23/09 10:07 PM Re: My husband told me he is bi and more [Re: needtobefreed]
Regs Offline

Registered: 12/03/08
Posts: 153
Loc: Oklahoma

Hang in there and please do seek T help.


Edited by Regstfon (12/01/09 10:58 PM)
WoR Sequoia Alumni, April 2010

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