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#30870 - 12/30/05 09:12 PM Re: Why Most of us stayed silent
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
that's all classic perp tactics, and it's abuse of power.

Mine did the same, starting with very low level stuff, and when I said "no more" they used violence, and it worked.
From then on it was the 'secret shame' thing, and that worked as well.
Within months I was asking them for sex, because that's what they'd taught me to do.

Nobody should ever underestimate the 'skills' of perps.


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

#30871 - 12/31/05 09:56 PM Re: Why Most of us stayed silent
melliferal Offline

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1159
My perpetrators didn't exactly use shame or violence. It was fear I suppose, but not for myself. At the time I thought they were cool people, and I didn't want them to get in trouble. Perhaps "misguided sympathy" would better describe it.

Children cannot consent; they can only comply.

Oprah's resources for male survivors

#30872 - 12/31/05 10:00 PM Re: Why Most of us stayed silent
promnwtn Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 12
Loc: US -TN
My perp stated "I will get you alone, I will find a way and I'll beat you". With that threat I felt a veil of darkness fall upon me. Only years later would I learn of the term depression and I realized that was the darkness that desended upon me that day.

#30873 - 01/01/06 01:26 AM Re: Why Most of us stayed silent
reality2k4 Offline

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I only found out this year, that my abuse was never reported, it was a massive shock. Why?
I went to the police station, but must not have told them so much to nail the b*stard.

Why the police did not follow it up is beyond my imagination because I know that I was absolutely terrified at the time, and the cops would have known that.

41years down the line, and now I can put pieces back into the jigsaw, he must have terrified me into not telling.

It explains the massive guilt that possessed me for all those years, and the worry that this perp would kill my family as he said he would.

Anyone who says that to an innocent kid needs to be locked up for a very long time, who knows how many more kids he got, and little me worrying about them also.


Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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