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#307818 - 10/24/09 04:43 AM Re: How do you let the past go? [Re: DJsport]
alan55 Offline

Registered: 08/19/09
Posts: 202
Loc: Seattle, WA
I find that by seeing my T,talking some of how I feel with my wife who is on board with what I am going through, talking with a man from church who is also a survivor (many years ago,but he has some insight into how to handle what'sgoing on),and most of all I pray. Again, as a Christian I have Jesus as my Higher Power so to speak, but others find solace and a very present help in time of need elsewhere. Good for them. It all takes time - I have to rest in what my Higher Power will do for me in that moment. I only have today. Yesterday is gone and there is no promise of tomorrow. One day at a time. Sure it hurts. It hurts like hell.

#307902 - 10/25/09 01:33 AM Re: How do you let the past go? [Re: alan55]
takingflight Offline

Registered: 09/23/09
Posts: 32
let go of the past? Please let me know if you find an answer.

#307905 - 10/25/09 02:43 AM Re: How do you let the past go? [Re: takingflight]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Letting go of the past for a MS survivor?

This is a multi-step process:

1. Spend time with your T. Talk about yourself. Talk out every little hurt and every big one. Share it with him.

2. If you have done wrong, make amends if possible.

3. Learn how to forgive yourself and others.

4. Watch movies which portray how you saw yourself as a kid and let that reframe your self concept. Forgive yourself.

5. Get special therapy for special problems: PTSD, DID, etc.

6. Turn it over to God

7. Become active in MS and write up your story here. Let other guys respond to your story.

8. Become active in the healing of other guys.

9. Read books on abuse and on any special problems you have.


pufferfish whistle

#307908 - 10/25/09 03:32 AM Re: How do you let the past go? [Re: pufferfish]
AndyS87 Offline

Registered: 12/12/08
Posts: 306
Loc: sorry, but I don't say on the ...
"everyone's got to face down their demons
maybe today
we can put the past away" - Third Eye Blind, Jumper.

It seems to me that letting go of the past is one of the most difficult things to do in this entire experience. I certainly have had a hard time letting mine go. When I do and I don't beat myself up, I become truly happy and able to function 100%. When I dwell, it gets worse. All I can do is soul searching to find what will allow me to release all that pain.

#308027 - 10/25/09 09:31 PM Re: How do you let the past go? [Re: AndyS87]
mrd Offline

Registered: 04/01/09
Posts: 28
Hey Sport,

For me its taking my disability and making the best of it instead of letting it bring out the worst in me. I'm not trivializing CSA by any means. It has been most devastating to me, pitying myself brought anger, self contempt, and vile actions towards myself and others, just to name a few responses. Looking at what I had become helped me to see that even though what happened to me was vile, I had chosen to respond to it in a vile way too. Personally , I refused to let ugly make me ugly. It has been about who I am before, during, and after the abuse. I am God's child!!! No amount of evil can destroy the spirit of Love that lives in me, only I can quench it. Nothing is worth quenching the God in me, for that feels like death walking. So I, with the help of God because of Jesus work, everyday stand in the face of suffering from the effects of csa and I hone that energy into Love for everyone. If I don't love I become vile. Not only do I not like that, it's not who I was made to be. I very seldom see the results but a few times I've been told it makes a difference. To God be the glory. Like others have said walk the walk that works for you. This my brother has made the difference for mrd.

peace and love

Ignorance is the most dangerous element in human society.

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