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#256142 - 10/18/08 08:35 PM Starting EMDR
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
I have not posted lately because I felt "stuck". Since my confrontation with my brother in August, I have gone into this feeling of just being stuck. I felt, and still do, that my confrontation was a huge step and a huge success for my recovery. I was ready for the "collapse" of my association with my siblings. Since the confrontation only 2 of my siblings out of 6 have contacted me. The others think I am a failure or total "nut" job. But that is their choice.

In my therapy session yesteday my therapist feels my next step in my recovery process is EMDR. I am having a very hard time with my anger recently. (seems my f...k'd up mind thought of the CSA was NOT done to me, but to my "inner child", my "little guy"). At my group therapy class two weeks ago my facilitator figured out my weird reasoning. That abuse was done to ME!!!! That "inner child" is ME. That "little guy" is ME.

The anger toward my brother has arrived. The anger toward everything that I am reliving has arrived. My nightmares continue and now I am really angry. And for me being angry is not a part of my life. I am not an angry type of guy. It is a feeling that is NOT me. And I am having a very hard time, if not difficult time dealing/copying with my anger. My angry thoughts are scary to me.

I am feeling scared and the anxiety is getting the best of me as I look toward these EMDR sessions.

Any advise or help will be greatly appreciated.

Thaks for listening;

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#256148 - 10/18/08 09:00 PM Re: Starting EMDR [Re: KENKEN]
M3 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/05/07
Posts: 1392
Loc: Central Ohio
Ken,

I'm so glad you are feeling understood by your facilitator. That is so important. And as much as you hate it, feeling the anger is important, because you can't work on it until you feel it.

Good luck with the EMDR. Keep us informed on how it goes. I know a couple of guys here have had it so I hope they chime in to give you support!

Peace and love...

Michael


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#256150 - 10/18/08 09:25 PM Re: Starting EMDR [Re: KENKEN]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: KENKEN

In my therapy session yesteday my therapist feels my next step in my recovery process is EMDR.

Any advise or help will be greatly appreciated.


KENKEN,

I wanted to respond to this because EMDR helped me so very much.

There are apparently differences in technique between therapists, and EMDR seems to work better for some clients than others. Some say that it has to be a very recent trauma, but that is definitely not what I found.

When my T used it, I had to focus my mind on an issue in my present world; the more specific the better. It had to be an issue that triggered me, such as 'I saw a certain person and had a certain response.' Your T will help you decide on the issue to focus on. Then the T used a stick waving back and forth in front of me. Very simple. I was to focus on the spot on the top of the stick. I had to concentrate on the issue. I would say briefly to the T what was going on. Sometimes it was hard to talk so I gave baby-like answers. Then the following would happen:

1. My mind would start to move in a direction. It seemed to me as though I was entering a forest of trees, with long straight trees surrounding on both sides.

2. I would have to fight distractions in my mind. There were like other things beckoning me from around that I had to choose to ignore.

3. I would travel, travel, travel, through the forest and then reach a clearing

4. I would report feeling like a child.

5. I would remember me as a child being in a particular situation.

6. Then the strength of my response deepened. I was feeling what the child felt. The child was of course me in an abusive situation.

I reported very briefly to the T what I felt every few minutes. He would say OK go on.

7. When we reached the abuse and I had remembered myself in that situation, my T started to back me out.

8. It took a few minutes to back me out of it.

When I was all through I was on a "high". It sometimes took me several hours to come down. I then would try to do something interesting for a while to help my mind relax. Sometimes it was just looking around in an interesting store or something.

Another therapist here in town takes time to carefully help her clients in coming down. I did this pretty much on my own.

EMDR really was wonderful for me. It broke the "spell" of those triggers and emotional patterns. It was a little bit painful going through it but it was well worth it. I got so I was looking forward to EMDR sessions because I genuinely noticed a difference afterward. It usually took a couple days for me to feel better.

It felt like a passive procedure. That is, it seemed as all I had to do was follow that pathway. But it took mental effort and I had to choose to follow that pathway.

At first the EMDR sessions were a week apart. This was too much so I cut them back to every other week.

I wish I had kept notes on what happened in each session because they were so dramatic.

Allen

pufferfish whistle


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#256167 - 10/18/08 11:10 PM Re: Starting EMDR [Re: pufferfish]
Niels Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 196
.



Edited by Niels (12/10/08 01:32 PM)
Edit Reason: privacy-trust issues-post deleted
_________________________
I live in my own little world - but that is OK! - They know me here.

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#256277 - 10/19/08 03:07 PM Re: Starting EMDR [Re: Niels]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline


Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5781
Loc: Lyons, CO USA
I use EMDR with select clients (where I think it can help "unstick" the person). Recent trauma (generally less than 6 weeks earlier) is NOT recommended per the training I had more than a dozen years ago.

I'm copying a section that deals with EMDR from my soon-to-be published book below.....


EMDR is a technique that has the person identify what the trauma looks like. It might be a single incident or, it may be where the trauma has been an ongoing series of events lasting months or years. The person gives a “snapshot” de>
_________________________
Blissfully retired after 35 years treating sexual abuse

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#258274 - 10/27/08 03:57 PM Re: Starting EMDR [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
Thank you "all" for your words and advice. I have been doing online research and just am hoping for the best. My main reason is to help me deal and cope with my constant nightmares. The nightmares are making me so angry. My present coping skills are not working.

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#307666 - 10/23/09 02:41 AM Re: Starting EMDR [Re: KENKEN]
TGIK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/11/09
Posts: 72
Loc: NY,NY 10011
Hey guys, this was really helpful and informative...Ken your de>

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#307679 - 10/23/09 03:45 AM Re: Starting EMDR [Re: TGIK]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/05/08
Posts: 1986
Ken,

I did some EMDR sessions a couple years ago. For me, I was working on the "body trauma" issues that I have. It seemed to help some. I still get it, but I think it lessened quite a bit. I was at a place where I was waking up and feeling "him" next to me and that has all gone away. It also triggered some memories that I think helped. For me I thought it was a positive experience. I hope it goes well for you.

Eric


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