Thanks Guys! In retrospect it probably wouldn't have mattered what it was that I said or how I said it because it wouldn't change her mind either way so I guess my response, if nothing else, was cathartic for me. That's got to count for something, right?
DJ, I really considered continuing the conversation in the very line of thought you suggest. She knows her son is in jail for internet porn. What she doesn't know is that the porn he was involved in was molesting his own son and sharing the pictures with his perp buddies online. My sentence would have gone something like this:
"You see that picture of (insert grandson's name) over there on the wall? (Insert son's name) is in jail for sexually abusing him and posting the pictures of it on the world wide web. Now, do you really think (insert grandson's name) was asking for it and that it's his fault that his father did that to him?"
I didn't. As good as it may have been for her on some level to have that bit of knowledge, it would have been a huge boundary violation of the boy's privacy because she would not have known how to handle that info and most certainly would have made a fuckup of it where the boy was concerned. For that reason I held my peace, satisfying myself with my ever-so-brief outburst as it was.
Anyhow, thanks guys. I still wish I'd had the intellectual acuity in the heat of the moment to have a conversation with her that explained the truths of sexual abuse in addition to the reaction I had, but it took me so completely by surprise that it just couldn't have happened. Like I said tho, I'm good with it the way it turned out and at least she knows how I feel. No doubt about it!!!!
"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson