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#307393 - 10/21/09 03:02 AM A disturbing conversation
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16270
Loc: Waldport, Oregon
I was involved in a very disturbing conversation this past Sunday with my mother-in-law. She made the comment (mind you this is the lady who has a son in jail for sexually abusing her grandson) that these boys who end up being sexually abused are asking for it and it's probably their fault.

I'd like to say I handled the conversation well and was able to enlighten her.

Didn't happen.

What actually happened was I heard myself saying, "That's the biggest bunch of bullshit I've ever heard."

Ahh, well! You win some, you lose some! At least there's no doubt in her mind how I feel about it smirk

_________________________
"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#307397 - 10/21/09 03:06 AM Re: A disturbing conversation [Re: WalkingSouth]
FormerTexan Offline
Administrator

Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 12091
Loc: Denver, CO
I said it before and I'll say it again: Way to go, John!

_________________________
Money talks, but all it tells me is goodbye.

If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#307398 - 10/21/09 03:21 AM Re: A disturbing conversation [Re: WalkingSouth]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5796
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
john, all i can think of to say is 'consider the source'. probably for the same reasons that my own parents didn't know what to do when they found out that others would sooner or later find out about what their own progeny was 'up to'. for them and their generation, the topic sex alone was such a shameful one. they'd just as soon kill any discussion of the topic of sex for fear they would be incriminated for actually having invested thought in the subject in the first place: guilty by approximation and association.

sux big time. gawd i am so grateful for this place, a refuge where i can get away from the world's solution: denial and avoidance. i couldn't stand not being able to escape it. if it were not for malesurvivor, i wonder where i would 'be'.

*sigh*

_________________________
Ron Schulz, MSPC, NCC


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#307399 - 10/21/09 03:33 AM Re: A disturbing conversation [Re: Sans Logos]
Daniel_forgotten Offline


Registered: 02/07/09
Posts: 479
i dont understand why anyone would think like that i just dont getit


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#307400 - 10/21/09 03:35 AM Re: A disturbing conversation [Re: Daniel_forgotten]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16270
Loc: Waldport, Oregon
Originally Posted By: Daniel_forgotten
i dont understand why anyone would think like that i just dont getit

Probably because it's easier to blame the victim than to face an uncomfortable truth...? Dunno.

_________________________
"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#307403 - 10/21/09 04:05 AM Re: A disturbing conversation [Re: WalkingSouth]
Casmir213 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 851
Loc: Northeast, USA
John,

I agree that it is disturbing, and potentially triggering, to hear such ignorance come out of someone's mouth. I'm glad you voiced your opinion instead of trying to enlighten her, not that I think she could have been enlightened.

Rocco

_________________________
I see recovery as a lifelong journey rather than a final destination, a journey, though, which can have many successes along the way.

WoR Alumnus - Hope Springs, OH, October 2009

My avatar is the farmhouse at the Hope Spring, OH WoR. It's a nice place.

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#307451 - 10/21/09 02:31 PM Re: A disturbing conversation [Re: WalkingSouth]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
(((John)))

Time to go over to that "Give yourself a Standing Ovation" thread I think!

As you know, it never ceases to amaze me how insensitive people can be. And as Ron said, thank goodness we have a place to to come to where the opposite is true.

Jim

_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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#307484 - 10/21/09 08:07 PM Re: A disturbing conversation [Re: WalkingSouth]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: walkingsouth
I was involved in a very disturbing conversation this past Sunday with my mother-in-law. She made the comment (mind you this is the lady who has a son in jail for sexually abusing her grandson) that these boys who end up being sexually abused are asking for it and it's probably their fault.


Unfortunately her attitude probably reflects that of many in our society. The question is always what do we say to them. I think we need a major motion picture which would dramatize the plight of the abused child.

Allen

pufferfish whistle


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#307488 - 10/21/09 08:31 PM Re: A disturbing conversation [Re: WalkingSouth]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Originally Posted By: walkingsouth
She made the comment (mind you this is the lady who has a son in jail for sexually abusing her grandson) that these boys who end up being sexually abused are asking for it and it's probably their fault.


Hi, John. I think the comment of ".....bunch of bullshit..." is awesome. Whoooohooooo

I was thinking of maybe next time turning the tables on her and say "so are you (insert her name) implying your (insert grandsons name) asked for it from (insert sons name) and it is (inserts grandsons name) fault"

Just a thought.

But John BRAVO.

DJ

_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#307505 - 10/21/09 10:08 PM Re: A disturbing conversation [Re: WalkingSouth]
Mike1968 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/14/09
Posts: 117
Loc: California
Originally Posted By: walkingsouth
I was involved in a very disturbing conversation this past Sunday with my mother-in-law. She made the comment (mind you this is the lady who has a son in jail for sexually abusing her grandson) that these boys who end up being sexually abused are asking for it and it's probably their fault.

I'd like to say I handled the conversation well and was able to enlighten her.

Didn't happen.

What actually happened was I heard myself saying, "That's the biggest bunch of bullshit I've ever heard."

Ahh, well! You win some, you lose some! At least there's no doubt in her mind how I feel about it smirk

You are very patient. If it were me, she probably would have been oust a long time ago.


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