Don't ask don't tell allowed for a compromise within the ranks; neither side got everything it wanted, but both sides got enough of what they needed to allow them to get back to their real jobs of defending the country.
There was NO compromise amongst individuals. There was a political compromise amongst the leadership probably between the President (Clinton) and the JCofStaff.
My dad who started military service nearly 50 years ago was NEVER happpy and I after reflecting on my life with him that he was never able to be in LOVE with the men he served with. Called it whatever but there was a level of severe fear for ones life and future in the military if any touch happened or talk of touch.
For me, when I entered service nearly 30 years ago I knew when I fell in love (my buddy withdrew) I did NOT have to endure the silence my father did but, there was a cost to my future. I endured many moves and an unstable life living with my father as he had to move around alot due to his level of trust with other service members. I understand now why.
Bigotry falls apart with NO support. Hatred and discrimination grow with continued support. Policy or rules from the leaders mandate support. Therefore change the support - due away with the DADT policy - and bigotry with change.
I was raped after one of these blanket parties and the leaders who had to uphold the DADT policy asked me to leave service. The policy begets or smells like bigotry.
To be honest, I am too old for any military service now so the inpact of this me is almost none but, for the future men and women I offer my perspective.
My heartfelt opinion,