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#306410 - 10/14/09 10:04 AM Female Predator Male Victim
Geeders Offline

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
From Durham Region, near Toronto

Sex crimes should be treated equally
October 13, 2009

To the editor:

Re: Teacher's sentence fitting for sex with child, Clarington This Week, Sept. 16

I am dismayed and even shocked at the suggestion that the 45-day sentence received by Jill Sparks for sexually assaulting a 14-year-old is seen as "fitting". Are male survivors of sexual assault and abuse any less valuable than female survivors?

I respectfully suggest that had the roles of the principals in this sorry event been reversed, that the outcome might have been significantly different. Our society seems to think that males cannot be victims. Therefore, how can victims be male? Health Canada states, as do many other reputable sources in Canada, that one in six males in Canada will be sexually assaulted by the time they reach 18 years of age. That's 2.6 million men in this country who are survivors of sexual assault and abuse.

In handing Jill Sparks a 45-day sentence, The Hon. Mr. Justice Halikowski has inadvertently said to every male survivor, including the victim in this case, that sexual crimes against males are not as bad, and therefore do not require the serious sentences that male perpetrators against females deserve. It could be years before the true consequences of Jill Spark's crime are realized by the young man in question. The realization that one was preyed upon at the debut of their sexual life, instead of it being a sharing between two people able to consent, can be difficult at best to reconcile. A fitting sentence? Only the young man in question will be able to answer that, once he reaches maturity.

Until then, I believe that our justice system needs to take a serious look at the biases with which it gives out justice, and ask; is not what is good for one perpetrator of sexual violence good for another? Or are female perpetrators of sexual violence really less offensive because the victims are male?

Jim (Edited out to remove contact info)

My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

#306415 - 10/14/09 12:05 PM Re: Female Predator Male Victim [Re: Geeders]
sono Offline

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1069


the family
the perp

#306429 - 10/14/09 02:31 PM Re: Female Predator Male Victim [Re: Geeders]
myboyhoodfears Offline

Registered: 03/13/09
Posts: 457
great letter,...such double standards are so harmful,..and its shameful they are still so prevalent.

Post Nubilia Pheobus

#306430 - 10/14/09 02:40 PM Re: Female Predator Male Victim [Re: Geeders]
Sans Logos Offline

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5796
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
thanks for stepping out jim. i seriously hope they publish this very important and well constructed statement. people, parents in particular, need to know the reality of the situation, and the only way to do this is by putting a face on the victims, in this case that being potentially their own sons'.

merci, and all the best,


Ron Schulz, MSPC, NCC

#306441 - 10/14/09 03:52 PM Re: Female Predator Male Victim [Re: Sans Logos]
Geeders Offline

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
It was published yesterday afternoon Ron. That's where I found it this morning at zzzz 5 a.m. Now I am waiting to see what sort of reaction, if any, follows.


My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

#306449 - 10/14/09 04:46 PM Re: Female Predator Male Victim [Re: Geeders]
WalkingSouth Offline

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16270
Loc: Waldport, Oregon
Thank-you Jim for giving all of us a voice. The more we speak out the louder that voice will become.

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

#306454 - 10/14/09 05:11 PM Re: Female Predator Male Victim [Re: WalkingSouth]
TJ jeff Offline

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3594
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Bravo Jim - my hat's off to you - that's a very well written letter that I hope makes readers really stop and think about the double standards that have been prevelant in society for far too long

Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

#306463 - 10/14/09 05:33 PM Re: Female Predator Male Victim [Re: TJ jeff]
dgoods Offline

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
Yay Jim!

Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

#306464 - 10/14/09 05:40 PM Re: Female Predator Male Victim [Re: dgoods]
Ken Followell Offline
Past President

Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 992
Loc: Bradenton, FL
Thank you Jim. That is a great letter.

Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

#306470 - 10/14/09 06:52 PM Re: Female Predator Male Victim [Re: Ken Followell]
petercorbett Offline

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2509
My fraternal brother.

You speak volumes about the great injustice done to us boys who were ever sexually abused by a female, be it by our "mothers" or other strange females.

Great courage in speaking for the silent.

Heal well my fraternal brother, Jim. heal well.


Love, little Pete & big Pete..but 1 (Irishmoose).

Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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