It's informative to see the music you choose to post here, to see the themes and the feelings behind the music. It says alot about your stage of recovery and your feelings. It is good to be able to express yourself in this way, and to say what you feel through mediums like this. By letting the feelings out and flow through you instead of locked away you are liberating yourself and empowering yourself, and that is exactly what we need to do. I'm happy to see you exploring these things, even though it is a very hard and painful thing to do.
I bet as you progress through this you will start posting different kinds of songs, different themes, and you will be able to look back and see how you were feeling, and how far you have come.