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#30169 - 11/03/03 08:25 PM Thanksgiving.......
Stephen_5 Offline
BoD Emeritus
Registered: 09/12/00
Posts: 667
Loc: Northern California Foothills
Hi there brothers,

I asked my youngest daughter what she wanted to do for Thanksgiving this year. It will be the first one without my wife, her mom. We usually have a round of toasts before dinner with each person saying what they are thankful for. With all the crap that has happened in the last 12 months she said that she didn't think she had a lot to be thankful for.

I disagreed. Sure, it was a crappy year, but I made it through. I can still talk. I can still smell. I can still eat. I can still breathe. I'm still employed. Those are all some things to be thankful for. I've endured some horrible losses this year, but I've endured. I know that despite all that's happened, or maybe because of it, I know that I'm a stronger person now than I was a year ago. I asked my daughter to think of all the good that is existant in her life, not the losses. We will always remember Sue, we will always love her. When I lost her I was at one of the lowest points in my life but I made it through. It wasn't easy, it wasn't painless and the grieving is still not over.

I guess what I want to say is even though I don't like the holidays because of all the memories associated with them, I can still find something to be thankful for.

Take good care of yourselves,


I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)

#30170 - 11/03/03 08:48 PM Re: Thanksgiving.......
theo Offline

Registered: 09/28/03
Posts: 1122
this time of the year is especially hard on me since so many things happened to me over the last three years within the holiday season. it is even more difficult when there are new things and memories i am struggling with. when it rains it pours, or so the old ad goes. but when it comes right down to it, i realize that i do have a lot to be thankful for. lady theo tops the list. i would not be here were it not for her love and devotion. i am also grateful for where i have ended up, which is so totally alien from where i was one year ago in adeadend job. i have many blessings, even the pain i am going through right now is a blessing in the sense that i am finally able to start facing it with the help of my loved ones and new therapist. there are many blessings, but perhaps the greatest one is the single gift of every breath of life we are given in hopes that we can make a difference in the lives we share.

journey well,
theo dewolfe

- It is gift, and gift will find its way
- I inherit through my choice. I build through my affirmation. It is through my freedom that I nurture, or fade into autonomy
- I was not given to serve life, but to embrace it

#30171 - 11/04/03 04:20 AM Re: Thanksgiving.......
Ivanhoe Offline

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Well, if it is anything else, Male Survivor, you guys, head the list. Whether my life is worth it or not, you guys have given me a new lease on the much more open life than I ever had before.
Whether or not we have ever talked directly or not, it doesnt' matter. All of you make up this site and all of you give me a membership in the greatest bunch of guys with whom I have ever been associated.
Thank you for your generosity of spirit, your encouragement, your brotherhood. I will always be grateful for your acceptance and concern.

Strength, courage and peace to you all this Thanksgiving......believe me, you will ALL be at my Thanksgiving table just as you are in my daily prayers.

The best to you and yours,


"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

#30172 - 11/04/03 09:21 AM Re: Thanksgiving.......
outis Offline

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2261
Loc: Maryland USA
I am thankful to have found so many strong and brave people setting examples I can hope to follow. You people, and the people supporting you, prove that no matter how bad things seem sometimes, it can get better. I don't think I believed that for much of my life, and I still struggle with it at times. The difference this year is that I have you showing me that it's true.

My thanks go out to each of you,


"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken�"�The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

#30173 - 11/04/03 11:32 PM Re: Thanksgiving.......
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1986
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Thank-you Steve,

Your words are what I needed. This indeed has been a bad year, yet there are many things to be thankful for.

This Thanksgiving marks the one year anniversary of my darkest moment. I am thankful that 105 sleeping pills are not enough to put me to sleep.

The year saw my now ex-wife take my son from me and hid him out of state and her try to end all my parental rights. I am thankful that my son and I are together again and have just finished a week and a half vacation with him.

The year saw me get a divorce. I am thankful that I am no longer being held down by the that woman and am free to discover me and heal.

The year saw me begin to deal with my SA for the first time, for this I am thankful.

This year has lead me to find the guys here at MS:NOMSV, for this I am thankful.

Thank-you for reminding me,

Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

#30174 - 11/06/03 02:37 AM Re: Thanksgiving.......
Leosha Offline

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here

I think you are a remarkable man, to have awareness to still be grateful after your loss. I am so very sorry of that, for you and your daughter.

I know that this year, as hard as last few months have been. Because this year, I start to rediscover myself and my life that I had ignored so long, or even forgotten. I rediscovered my brother who I lost so long ago, and will now have his memory always. I am starting to heal some from all these things from past. I am finding some courage in myself. I am healing some physically. I have discovered some wonderful friends, and rediscovered some others. I am grateful so much to my life, to just have life. I know sometime that I do not appreciate as much as I should, but I will try more now. Thank you to remind us there is always something to be thankful for.


Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

#30175 - 11/26/03 07:19 PM Re: Thanksgiving.......
Stephen_5 Offline
BoD Emeritus
Registered: 09/12/00
Posts: 667
Loc: Northern California Foothills
I just wanted to say a few more things that I'm thankful for. I went to the retreat at Pilgrim Firs in WA.

I'm thankful for all the supportive people that I met up there.
I'm thankful that there is that sponsors these retreats.
I'm thankful for the wonderful group of therapists who were there for each and every one of us at the retreat.
Most of all, I'm thankful for all of my brothers here who have listened to me and responded with such compassion.

Take good care of yourselves my brothers. I know that the holidays can be very trying being around family but I hope each and every one of you has a happy Thanksgiving.


I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)

#30176 - 11/28/03 09:32 AM Re: Thanksgiving.......
dwf Offline
Moderator/BoD Emeritus

Registered: 05/24/03
Posts: 1223
Loc: Austin, Texas USA
Dear Stephen,

What a beautiful thread for me to read the day after........thanks for the powerful reminders of how strong we are when we come together.

I'm thankful, Stephen, for beautiful men like you.

Your concern and kindness have illumined my corner of the world more than once.

I'm grateful to know you and this place called MaleSurvivor.


"Poke salad Annie, 'gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang"

-Tony Joe White

#30177 - 11/28/03 07:41 PM Re: Thanksgiving.......
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
We don't celebrate Thanksgiving over here, it's a 'Colonial thing' ;\)
But I know what I'm thankful for, and knowing you is one of them.


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau


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