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#299531 - 08/16/09 06:21 PM Re: limbo horrors [Re: boylikeme]
WalkingSouth Offline

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16270
Loc: Waldport, Oregon
it's quite alright, boy. You're reaction was a completely normal one. Think about it this way. We were abused by some guy who also asked, threatened, or otherwise convinced us to keep the abuse a secret, right? Maybe it was a pact that was made that we would never tell.

Whatever the case all this time later we begin to understand how it all had such negative impact on our lives and we feel like we need to tell. We find what we think is a safe place to talk about it and we put it out there then the guilt and the fear set in because we've broken the secret or the pact we made. All hell breaks loose in our minds and the panic sets in. We feel like it's going to cause problems of some kind.

I did it. Many of the men and teenagers who come here have experienced it too. It's a perfectly normal reaction. As you've discovered tho, the sky doesn't fall if we choose to talk about it in a safe environment. Good job!

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

#299533 - 08/16/09 06:36 PM Re: limbo horrors [Re: boylikeme]
wes-b Offline

Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 438
Loc: Western, Canada

Brother boylikeme;

IMHO there is no apology necessary at all. I was heartened to read your posts here. Your posts did a couple of things for me; first they reminded me of how dependant I was on approval from outside before and in early recovery/healing. secondly, filled me with hope as I see you entering healing decades before I began my journey (in my 40s).

When I saw your "panic" I was reminded of how sending an email or speaking to people was fraught with terror for me. I was analyzing the hell out of what I was saying and how they might take it or react and playing out a whole scenario around all of my communications... It was exhausting... Today it is far better and MS has been no small part of that. I'm still far from perfect, today I am ok with that and have found that by working through my fears of rejection and abandonment I have reduced and almost eliminated my fears around communication with people. Even when I receive a "rejection", one that would have sent me into a tailspin a couple of years back, I am able to detach from it and respond to it in peace and without making it into a personal rejection.

my thoughts today.. enjoy and may your recovery and healing bring you to see the road of your journey as the "road of happy destiny".

Love and hope, Wes

Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)

Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny".

My Story, 1st pass

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