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#298047 - 08/05/09 02:24 AM My dad's not my dad?
TW16 Offline

Registered: 06/11/09
Posts: 200
Loc: Utah
It has been quite a while since I last posted. I don't have much tome to so I am going to make this short and brief.

Last week my dad tells me that he is not my biological father; that my mom had been with another man within about a month of her being with my dad, so they weren't sure who my father was as no tests had been done. They were pretty sure that the other man was my father because I don't have any traits from my "dad". If this is true, then my brothers would be half-brothers, one of my half-sisters would still be my half-sister, and the other half-sister would even be related to me. My "dad" also tells me that my "othr dad" is a really bad person, and if my "dad" ever saw him he would beat him up. Don't ask me why that is.

After my dad tells me this, he is surprised that I didn't know about it as my whole family knew, and appearantly nobody told me brecause they didn't think I was old enough and/or wouldn't be able to handle it.

I told my dad that even though I had no idea, for some reason I have always had a strange feeling that I was adopted or something because I look nothing like my brothers, and I have nothing in common really with my brothers or dad. I always felt different. When I suggested it to him, my "dad" said that he din't want to get a blood test to find out if I am truely his kid because he is aftaid that I am not his kid. If that is the case, then what? I feel complelty numb over this issue; I don't know what to feel.

However, the next day my "dad" tells me that sometime after I was born, my parents investigated it and found the he is my real father. if this is the truth, then why did he tell me in the first place?


#298056 - 08/05/09 03:41 AM Re: My dad's not my dad? [Re: TW16]
GeorgeMartin Offline

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 206
Loc: USA
Do a Y-DNA test through TW16. It is a cheek swab test that is non-invasive, doesn't require hair, blood, or fingernail. It is simply a scrubbing of the cheek inner lining. You pay 150 for each test to be done. It might be cheaper now. Even cheaper if you and your "dad" do it through a Surname Project.

The reason I am saying this is because we had this same situation with my uncle, and with my own biological father. Uncle was not a son of..... but Y DNA results showed that Grandma on mom's side was with another man, not her husband whether voluntarily or involuntarily. I won't judge the past. It is what it is. My biological father is indeed my biological father based on the results of his and my Y DNA results. Its a run of 36 markers. So you have 36 one or two digit numbers. If they match number for number between your "dad" and you, then its a 100% positive your "dad" is your "dad" and his talk with you is null and void for both of you emotionally etc. Secondly, if the results come back that your "dad's" Y-DNA results came back and didn't match your results, then ok, so your not biological his son.....big deal. He raised you, he hopefully has loved and cared for you throughout your young life? My father is not the son of the man on his birth certificate nor the son of the man who raised him all his young life to adulthood. Grandma on my father's side was none too pleased to hear I was into doing the family genealogical history. She passed away before I did the Y-DNA testing. But does the results negate or void the life experiences and familial associations and bonding between my father and those that loved him as their own? I think not. But do the Y-DNA kits if you can at the same time. Turn then in at the same time, and find out the results at the same time, and then then both of you love each other for who you are as individuals and as loved ones. Sure your different than your siblings and your dad. Your you, unique and wonderfully you. But if this situation or dynamic bothers you, then find out whether the subject matter has any merit or meat to its bones and get you and your "dad's" Y-DNA compared. Its simple its easy and it doesn't require a blood sample or tugging of your head hair.


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