Graphic portrayal of abuse memory. Please be of a good frame of mind, emotionally stable and in a safe and encouraging environment before reading.

Little Shaun and Big Shaun want everyone to be safe. We want no hurt to come from our "voice."

This account maybe written as if another viewed and recorded the event, and from more than one perspective or voice. The result is my "disassociation"a reluctance of little me as well as big me to emotionally or literally identify with the graphic, violent nature of the physical and sexual abuse. It is part of a defense mechanism of avoidance, and a certain detachment.
Also, it is a hard as an adult looking back on this, and telling this event for the first time; (though it has played hundreds of times if not thousands in my mind), and as a psychotherapist by profession myself, (not here in this capacity), I almost automatically utilize a de>