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#294774 - 07/09/09 09:16 PM vanishing
DJsport Offline

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
Hi, Guys.

I am much better at being able to handle people just vanishing BUT, I am saddened by the absence of another survivor who I was getting to know not that long ago.

I can handle to absence but, the vanishing is difficult. It feels intentional for some reason.

I dont like everyone I meet and I have had to stop contact with others in my life but in those cases the vanishing was intentional and the reason known.

What could be the issue and if not knowing the issue how does one resolve wanting to know how another is doing without any communication?


Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

#294786 - 07/10/09 12:23 AM Re: vanishing [Re: DJsport]
Geeders Offline

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Hi DJ:

Sometimes we just don't know why people disappear. It could be for any number of reasons; not always csa related.

Sometimes people take a break from support sites just because they need one. Others, unfortunately do not, even though they should. For their own mental health as well as those others on whatever support site they find themselves. Too much of one thing is not always a good balance to the Yin and Yang of life.

Perhaps as well, other things in the other's life are not going so well. As a Baby Boomer myself, I often feel sandwiched between the needs of my children ( God bless 'em crazy ) and those of my aging parents both of whom, in the last couple of days have disclosed serious medical issues.

Often the disappearance is sudden and without warning. Other times, it may be a reaction to what someone else posted, or sent in a pm. Either way, you are left in the lurch. Not knowing.

Other people have issues equally as important as our own. At what ever time they choose to experience them. We cannot control how others feel. We know that perhaps like no others.

Give yourself a break, feel the disconnect, mourn it as well, learn from it if you can. It may hurt, but then, feeling is so much better than not feeling.

Isn't it?

Still looking forward to that chat about Restorative Justice!


My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men


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